Someday
by heppy
Summary: Seven years ago they graduated high school and began their journey into the world. Lucas Scott became a best selling author, Nathan Scott an NBA allstar, Haley James Scott became a mother, Brooke Davis a fashion icon and Peyton Sawyer a record mogel.
1. Used to be

**Author's note: I do not own OTH or the cast of characters. This story is picking two years after the season six episode where Lucas finds Peyton passed out the night of their wedding… Some of the timelines will not match the show and some things that we actually saw on the show will be re-worked to have happened in my timeline instead…so you know the basics of the show leading up to that episode in season six. This story jumps two years…so basically that year jump between season six and seven was pretty close to what the show showed with a few changes. Any flashbacks will be in italics. This has been an idea I have been toying with and thought I would share…**

Brooke Davis was twenty five years old. She was the founder, designer and president of her own multi-million dollar fashion empire. Brooke Davis had moved to Los Angeles for a boy a year ago, to find happiness, and in reality escape her past. She had found out she was pregnant right before the move. She had always wanted to be a mother and was thrilled, but also scared. She had tried to live up to the words written about her, being fiercely independent. Brooke Davis was brilliant, beautiful and brave. At least she used to be.

Julian Baker was twenty eight years old. He was a movie producer and director. Julian Baker had built a life that he had always dreamed of, he had more money than he knew what to do with. Julian had won awards and was highly sought after by movie executives due to the acclaimed success from his joint venture with Alex DuPre. Julian Baker didn't want a family, he never saw himself as a father, but when Brooke needed him, he wanted to do the right thing. Julian Baker had the perfect life with a gorgeous girl that he loved. At least he used to.

"Brooke," he hollered from the doorway to the nursery, "damn it, Brooke."

"Julian," she said as she came in, pushing past him, she scooped her son up, "I've got him. Go."

"Finally," he said bitterly.

"Mamma's here," she said as she kissed the top of her sons head as Julian walked out closing the door, "it's okay baby boy. Mamma loves you buddy." She sat down in the rocking chair holding her three month old son close to her while tears silently streamed her face.

* * *

Haley James Scott was twenty five years old. She was a record executive at Red Bedroom Records, a musician and producer, a wife and mother. Haley James Scott had given birth to her son, James Lucas Scott the day of her high school graduation. She became a mother again fourteen months ago, this time to a beautiful daughter, Grace Penelope Scott. Despite losing her father four years ago, and her mother four months ago, Haley James Scott had the life she had always dreamed of.

Nathan Scott was twenty five years old. Nathan had loved basketball for as long as he could remember. Nathan Scott had found the one thing in life that had eluded his own father, Nathan Scott had found happiness. The journey to get to the NBA had been long and painful at times, but a year ago it happened. Nathan Scott became a Charlotte Bobcat. He was a husband, a father and a brother. His relationship with Lucas didn't start out as brotherly, but thanks to his wife and a great friend in Brooke Davis, that's what they became. Nathan Scott had the life he had always dreamed of.

"Hey," he said wrapping his arms around his wife as she stood beside the crib watching their daughter sleep.

"Hi," she said with a smile as she turned towards him, "I missed you."

"I missed you too," he said placing a kiss on her forehead, then her lips.

"Dude, Dad," Jamie said as he walked by his sisters room, "that's my mom."

"Sorry buddy," Nathan said with a laugh as they watched their seven year old son walk away shaking his head.

* * *

Lucas Scott was twenty five years old. He was a successful author with three bestsellers under his belt. Lucas Scott had been a basketball player like his brother Nathan until his HCM stopped him. He had been a friend to Haley and the best uncle he could be to Jamie. He was good to Peyton and tried to be the best husband he could. He supported her decision to have their baby even when he was so afraid of the outcome. He wanted to be a good man, a good husband and a good father. Lucas Scott was a good man. At least he used to be.

"Damn it, Peyton," he said standing there, running his hands thru his hair.

Peyton Sawyer Scott was twenty five years old. Well, at least she would be. Peyton Sawyer Scott died two years ago along with their daughter. Neither of them made it thru the night after the delivery. Peyton Sawyer Scott wanted nothing more than to be a mother and she was willing to risk everything for it. Lucas lost both of them two years ago and he lost a part of himself. He had left Tree Hill for a year after their death, traveling with his mother and sister. When he returned home things had changed. He was lost and alone as he stood in the cemetery looking at his wife's headstone. They were his life. At least they used to be.


	2. Home

**Author's note: I own nothing. This story is an idea I've been toying with so I hope you like it. Read and review please. Thanks.**

Brooke Davis stood in the cemetery with her son close to her chest. She had decided to go home. She needed to. It had been a year. Brooke Davis had been gone for almost a year. That year had brought so much change. She had missed Jamie's seventh birthday, she wasn't there for Haley when her mother passed, and she missed the place and the people. Brooke Davis looked at the headstone of her best friend and tried to hold the tears back. It had been two years since she lost her. Two years that seemed like a blur.

It had been twelve months since she had been here. Twelve months ago Brooke Davis stood in this cemetery with the boy she loved and laid flowers on the grave of Peyton Sawyer Scott and her daughter. She knew that it would be difficult being back, but she hadn't realized how hard it would be to stand here again. To look at the ground where her best friend was buried. She left L.A. and Julian. The life they were trying to build wasn't working and maybe it never was. Maybe she was trying too hard and maybe he wasn't trying enough. Julian Baker had tried, she knew that. But this wasn't his life to live. This was hers. She kissed the top of her son's head and turned to leave.

"Brooke?" She heard the voice and wanted to pretend she didn't. She wanted to pretend she was still alone with her son. But she wasn't. He was there, again.

"Luke," she said softly as she met his gaze.

"I didn't know you were in town," he said as he laid the two roses on the ground beneath the headstone.

"We just got in this morning," she said shifting the sleeping baby, "no one knew."

"How have you been," he asked as he walked towards her.

"Good," she lied, "we're good."

"That's great Brooke," he said, "Jamie is going to be excited, he's been begging Haley to take him to L.A. for a while now."

"I'm going to head over there now," she said, "I wanted to surprise them."

"I can give you a lift, if you want," he said.

"I've got a rental," she said as she motioned towards the silver car, "but thanks Luke."

"You look beautiful, Brooke," he said as she was walking away, she looked at him with a faint smile, "you're an amazing mom I can tell."

"Thanks Lucas," she said as she smiled at him, he walked towards her and she protectively held her son closer as Lucas kissed her forehead.

"I've missed you," he said as he stood there looking at the baby boy in her arms.

"I've got to go," she said as she started to walk towards her rental car. She buckled her son in the car seat and watched Lucas standing at Peyton's grave remembering the last time they were there.

* * *

The studio had been designed for Peyton, it was her baby, her dream. As Haley sat in the office that was once occupied by her friend she couldn't help but think about her. It had been two years to the day that Peyton had died. Days like today were always hard on Haley, and with Mia being on tour it was more difficult. Of course she had Quinn, but it wasn't the same as if she'd had Mia, or Brooke. But she hadn't had Brooke in almost a year. Brooke and Julian went to L.A. and Brooke had not been back.

Haley made her way to the piano. Music was her salvation. When she was sad or hurt, or happy and joyful, music was always there. That had always been the connection with Peyton. And after losing her mother she had found herself working on new material. She wasn't sure if she wanted to record again, but she knew she could never stop the music in her heart. She played, she played what was in her heart and mind and she didn't think about anything but her music.

"That was beautiful," Brooke said as she stood in the doorway watching Haley.

"Brooke," Haley said almost running towards her best friend, "oh my gosh, I've missed you."

"I've missed you," she said as they embraced, Haley glanced towards the sleeping baby that was in the stroller.

"Oh, Brooke, he's beautiful," she said as she moved the blue blanket for a better look.

"Thank you," she smiled, "Keithan James."

"Keithan James Baker you are gorgeous," Haley said as she kissed the baby.

"Davis," Brooke said timidly.

"Davis," Haley asked as she looked up at her.

"Keithan James Davis," she said as she looked towards her sleeping son.

"It's beautiful Brooke, he's beautiful," she said with a smile, "I've missed you so much Brooke Davis."

"I've missed you too, all of you," Brooke said wiping her eyes.

"Well you're home now," Haley said.

"Yep, we're home," she said looking at her son.

* * *

Haley James Scott walked in to her living room after a long day. She had just put her children to bed and gotten baby Keithan settled in to the guest room with Brooke. Nathan had already left for Charlotte, so it was her and Brooke with three sleeping children. It had warmed her heart seeing Jamie with his Aunt Brooke, and seeing Brooke and Grace bond was great. Haley had taken the opportunity to cuddle with Keithan, he was such a good little baby. Haley could see the love Brooke had for him and she was so touched. They had eaten dinner with Mouth and Millicent and Nathan, Lucas had declined saying had to much to do on the new book.

"Crazy day," Haley said as she handed Brooke a cup of coffee and sat beside her with her own.

"Yeah, thank you by the way," Brooke said, "for letting us stay here. I am gonna call a realtor in the morning."

"There is no rush, in case you haven't noticed this house is plenty big for you and Keithan. Plus, I like having you here, I've missed you."

"I've missed you too," she said.

"Can I ask you something tigger," Haley asked, Brooke nodded, "what happened with Julian?"

"He's not the guy for me," she said as she shrugged, "Julian wants a different life than I do, and it's just not working. I used to love the city and since Keithan has been born, I just realized how much I missed this place and all of you. Julian is a great guy, just not the guy for me. And there's only one Tree Hill, and this is home."


	3. Searching for hope

**Author's note: I own nothing. Please read and review…hope you enjoy. Taking things slower and seeing how it progresses, this isn't a story I have planned to far out…**

Brooke Davis is afraid. She has become this mother so intent on nothing bad ever touching her sons life, that she's afraid. And she lays in the guest bedroom in two of her best friends' home afraid. She's afraid that the timing was wrong, that she should have stayed in L.A. a while longer. That maybe Julian could have been the man she needed him to be, that maybe he'd want to be that man for her and her son. But reality always sank in. It wasn't about Julian Baker. It was about Brooke Davis.

She is comfortable here. Truth is she hasn't been this comfortable in a while. The fear is still there, and the thing that scares her most is that it always will be. Haley had taken Keithan downstairs so she could get some sleep. The trip from L.A. to Tree Hill had been long, and she was thankful for her friend. She loved Haley so much. She glanced at the clock and it was after nine, the sun was peeking through the shades and she was ready to get up. She showered, through her hair in a messy bun and made her way downstairs. The house was quiet.

"Hey," she said walking into the living room. She saw Lucas standing holding her son against him, she could barely hear it, but he was singing him a lullaby. The scene before her brought a smile to her face.

"Hey," he said smiling at her, "Haley is in the kitchen with Jamie and Grace, and I told her I'd keep an eye on him while you were sleeping."

"Thank you," she smiled, watching how careful Lucas was with her son.

"It's no problem," he said kissing the baby's forehead, he gently handed the sleeping baby to Brooke. She held her son close, kissing his cheek, Lucas watched with a smile, "you're really good with him Brooke."

"I'm trying," she said softly. She sat on the couch and Lucas watched as she held her son, he was truly mesmerized by them.

"Keithan James," he said with a smile, "that's a good name."

"I wanted him to have a name that meant something, a name that matters to me," she said looking at Lucas. The name did matter, she had named her son after some very important people in their lives.

"You did good," he smiled at her.

* * *

Haley James Scott stood in her kitchen watching two of her best friends talk. The small act of conversation seemed huge. It had been almost a year since Brooke had gone to L.A. with Julian. Haley was thrilled to have her back, but she knew that there was a pain in her that she wasn't sharing. She hoped that one day Brooke would be able to share it with her. She had been so worried about Lucas since Peyton's death, but seeing him with Brooke and Keithan, it was like that light was back in him.

Haley James Scott loved her family. Lucas Scott was family, but so was Brooke Davis and baby Keithan. Biology had nothing to do with family, Haley knew that. Lucas, Karen and Keith had been her family long before she married Nathan. Haley had grown up as the baby of a large family, so there was one thing she knew. Family was important, love was important, and her friends were important.

"Mom," Jamie said from the table interrupting Haley's spying, "why isn't Julian here?"

"I don't know buddy," she said as she kissed the top of his head, "why do you ask Jimmy Jam?"

"Aunt Brooke seems sad," he shrugged.

"She does," Haley asked, realizing that Jamie was a lot more observing than her or Nathan had realized.

"Yeah, but I'm glad she's here, and I like her baby too, he's really cute."

"He sure is," she said with a smile, "he's adorable."

"Knock knock," the blonde said as she walked in to the kitchen. Mackenzie Allen, twenty seven years old, blonde, Math teacher at Tree Hill High School, and for the last four months current girlfriend of Lucas Scott. Lucas had finally given in and went on a date with Kenzie after a couple weeks of her asking. He wasn't ready for a relationship, but the idea of company was nice.

"Hey, Kenzie," Haley said with a smile, "how are you doing today?"

"Enjoying the start to my summer," she smiled, "what about you?"

"We're getting ready to go to L.A. to watch dad in the finals," Jamie said. Jamie and Kenzie weren't friends. Jamie hadn't warmed up to her yet, which through Haley off. Jamie usually warmed up to people quickly, even Julian had hit it off with him.

"Sounds fun," she said.

"Uncle Lucas is going with me and the guys," he said matter of factly.

"Yeah," she asked, "well is your Uncle Lucas here?"

"Yep, he's with Aunt Brooke."

"Oh," Kenzie said with a slightly confused look to Haley.

"Brooke is back for a little while," Haley said as she looked towards the living room.

* * *

"So," Haley said as she and Brooke sat together on the deck.

"So," Brooke said as she sat the baby monitor down. Jamie had gone to the river court with Lucas and Grace and Keithan were sleeping. So it was just the two of them.

"What do you think of Kenzie?"

"She seems nice," Brooke said truthfully.

"I don't know," Haley said, "she's not who I pictured Lucas with." Brooke had to stop herself from asking the obvious question, not sure she wanted to hear the answer. "You know after Peyton died, he was gone for that year with Karen, he seemed different when he came back you know? He seemed like he was going to be able to move forward in his life, but then," she hesitated, "it changed, after you left, it was like he went back into the darkness."

"Peyton's death changed all of us I guess," Brooke said. The truth was that it had. Brooke had wanted Peyton and Lucas to have forever, but they didn't. She wanted to be able to happy, and for a while she was. Julian had made her happy, but it changed about a year ago. Her heart wasn't in it anymore, then she found out she was pregnant and her world changed. She wouldn't change her life though, because she had the most precious gift anyone could be given, she had her son.

"Are you ok," Haley asked bluntly, "I know you say you are, but if you need to talk, Brooke, I'm here, Nathan is here," she paused, "Lucas is here too, ok. We're all here for you and your son."

"I know."

"What happened with Julian, Brooke, you two seemed so happy, and then," Haley paused.

"Things changed," Brooke said, "my heart changed," she shrugged, "I love him, but Julian isn't where I belong, I know that sounds crazy, but, I just don't feel like we should be together. I've got to do what's best for my son, Keithan is what matters to me, making him happy, giving him the life he deserves."

"You're a good mom," Haley smiled at her best friend.

"I'm trying." Brooke was trying. The thing she had learned most from Karen was to make sure her son was happy. The downside was that she had seen Karen live her life for her son, that maybe she missed out on love in her life. She knew Karen loved Keith, and he loved her. It was so heartbreaking when he was taken so suddenly. They didn't get their happy ending, they didn't get forever and that scared Brooke. She didn't want to end up miserable like her own parents, she didn't want her son to feel anger and hatred towards her, she wanted them both to be happy. In her heart she knew they would find that happiness in Tree Hill.


	4. Soon

**Author's note: I own nothing. Please read and review…hope you enjoy. Taking things slower and seeing how it progresses, this isn't a story I have planned to far out…**

Nathan Scott was preparing for one of the biggest games of his career. Game 6 of the NBA finals. They led the series 3-2 over Los Angeles and the last two games were set in L.A. This was the life Nathan Scott had dreamed of. He had his beautiful wife and two gorgeous kids. This was the life he had wanted.

"Nervous," Lucas asked as he walked in to the kitchen where Nathan was getting his bags together.

"Not even a little," he shrugged, causing Lucas to laugh, "ok, I'm terrified. I mean it's the finals. Did you ever imagine this?"

"Yeah," he smiled, "I did. I'm proud of you little brother," Lucas said as he patted Nathan on the back. "Where's the boy?"

"The boy is sleeping," he said, "I've got the car here to get me, so I will see you two in L.A. tomorrow night."

"We'll be there," Lucas said hugging his brother.

"Thanks," Nathan said as he grabbed his bags and left. Lucas sat alone in the kitchen of his brother's home. This was the life he had imagined for his brother. Maybe not when they first met, but by the time high school ended, this was the life Lucas wanted for Nathan.

"He's gone," Haley asked as she walked in the kitchen, Lucas nodded.

"You ok," he asked, knowing Haley was saddened by Nathan leaving, but knowing she would never admit it.

"Yeah, just have a lot to get done before we leave in the morning," she said pouring herself a cup of coffee, "what about you?"

"I'm good," he said. Truth was, Lucas Scott was good. For the first time in a while he felt good again, not like he was just going through the motions of life.

"Well, I'm gonna jump in the shower," Haley said, "if your nephew gets up don't steal him away just yet."

"Got it," he said playfully saluting her, "captain."

"Ha," she said walking towards the stairs. Lucas opened up the newspaper and started reading through the sports section. He was content in his life. He heard Brooke and Keithan coming down the stairs. She was trying to calm the crying infant.

"Mommy is trying," she said trying to shift the baby in her arms and fidget with the bottle.

"Let me," Lucas said reaching for the tiny bundle, she thankfully handed her son to the blonde so she could make his bottle. "Hey buddy," Lucas said as he kissed the top of Keithan's head, the baby seemed to calm down as Lucas talked to him.

"Thank you," Brooke said as she stood watching Lucas with the baby, she couldn't help but smile.

"We go way back," he said making her laugh, "we're best buds, right Keithan," he said as he handed the small boy back to Brooke. She sat down and started feeding the baby, Lucas watched in amazement, she seemed so at ease, so natural.

"You're staring," she said never taking her eyes off her son.

"Watching," he smiled, "not staring. You're so good at this, being a mom. It's pretty awesome."

"Thanks," she said shyly. She wasn't sure how Lucas could think she was good at being a mom when he'd only been around her for a couple of days with her son, but she still appreciated his observation.

"I've missed you," he said, not sure where the words came from. It wasn't that he didn't mean it, but he knew she would react all Brooke-like.

"I've missed all of you too." And there it was. She wasn't sure what to say to him. He was married to her best friend, they were having a child together, what was she supposed to say.

"That's not what I meant," he said, "Brooke, I missed you."

"Lucas," she whispered still avoiding his gaze, "don't do this."

"Aunt Brooke," Jamie called as he entered the kitchen, "we're going to L.A. tomorrow."

"You are buddy," she said as Jamie sat at the counter by Lucas.

"Yep, we get to watch Dad in the finals, it's going to be so awesome."

"I bet it is Jamie," she smiled at the little version of Lucas.

"Are you coming with us?"

"No, buddy, me and Keithan are staying here," she said, "we are gonna look for our own house."

"Cool," he said. She sighed, thankful for the seven year olds interruption. She had been avoiding being alone with Lucas as much as possible, knowing that the inevitable would be brought up.

"It is pretty cool," Lucas said smiling at Brooke.

* * *

Millicent Huxtable loved her boss. Brooke Davis was so much more than a boss though. The duo had become friends over the years and Millicent was thankful for that. She enjoyed having Brooke back in Tree Hill, especially since she and Mouth were planning their wedding. They had been together since Brooke hooked them up, and of course there were bumps along the way, but here they were, planning a wedding two months away.

"You look stunning," Brooke said as she was pinning the dress, "you are going to make one beautiful bride."

"Thank you," she said, "for everything, Brooke. You've been so good to me."

"No tears," she said as they hugged, "now get your booty out of that dress before you go and get it all tear stained," Brooke laughed.

"Thank you," Millie said as she walked back in to the fitting room. Brooke stood in her store, she was overwhelmed by the memories this place held. As Karen's Café, then as her store. This place meant a lot to her and she was glad to be back.

"You're doing an amazing job Millie," Brooke said as she came back out.

"Thanks, but I'm sure Victoria would disagree."

"Well, she doesn't run things," Brooke smiled, "you are really doing great, the store is amazing and you are doing so much for the company, I appreciate it."

"Well, I am glad to help Brooke, you've done so much for me," she smiled, "if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have Marvin, so thank you."

"You two are so good together," Brooke smiled as she watched her son sleep in the stroller.

"You too," Millie said eyeing the sleeping baby, "you are so good with him Brooke."

"I'm trying," she said softly.

"So," Millicent said sitting beside Brooke, "have you talked to him?"

"Some," she replied.

"So, are you going to tell him," she asked, "I know it's not my place, but Brooke he needs to know, he deserves that and so do you."

"I just can't, not yet," she said as she kissed her son's head.

"Soon, ok," she said, Brooke nodded.

"Soon," she whispered rubbing her son's back, "soon."

* * *

Brooke paced the floor in Haley's kitchen. Keithan was asleep and she had the baby monitor on the counter. She was mentally preparing herself for the call she needed to make. The call she had to make. Today was the day that everyone was leaving for L.A. to see Nathan in the finals. She had to make the call today.

"You've reached my voice mail, you know what to do." She sighed as she heard the greeting, she contemplated hanging up, but knew there was no use, she needed to say it.

"Julian, it's me, we need to talk. Call me please. I know you're going to the game tonight, and I really want to talk to you before. Call me."

"Hey," Haley said carrying her suitcase down the stairs, followed by Jamie.

"You guys ready," she asked the mother son duo.

"Yep," Jamie answered.

"Quinn will be here in a few minutes," Haley said as she sat her bags down, "Gracie is staying with her, are you sure you're ok here Brooke? I can stay…"

"No you can't," Brooke cut her off, "I love you Hales for wanting to make sure I'm ok, but honey this is the finals, and this is your husband. So you will go and you will have a great time and hopefully bring that husband back as a champion."

"I just feel bad, you just got here," Haley said.

"We're ok, Keithan and I have some houses to look at, plus I've got Millie and the wedding, I will be plenty busy and not alone."

"Ok," Haley said as Lucas walked in.

"Uncle Lucas," Jamie as he jumped down and ran to his uncle, "is it time?"

"Yeah, if your mom is ready, it is," Lucas said as he sat Jamie down.

"Come on James, let's go get your sister ready for Aunt Quinn to pick her up and we'll be all set," Haley said as she and Jamie left Brooke and Lucas alone.

"Where's the little guy," Lucas asked as he sat on the counter.

"Sleeping," she said pointing to the monitor.

"I was hoping to see him before we left," Lucas said with a smile.

"He grows on you," she smiled. They had only been back for ten days and she was thankful that there was already so much love for her son.

"Just like his mom," he smiled at her, he walked towards the stairs, "I promise I won't wake him up." She smiled as she watched Lucas walk away, she felt her heart race a little. The idea that he cared about her son so much already warmed her heart.

* * *

Brooke sat in the living room with her son watching the game. The final score was 105 to 98. Nathan Scott had just become a champion. Brooke couldn't help but smile as she watched the television. The confetti, the fans, all of it reminding her of their state championship in high school. She remembered sending Lucas to Peyton that night.

"Hello," she said as her phone rang.

"Did you see it," she heard the noise in the background.

"Yeah, Hales, I did, you guys must be so excited," she said wiping her eyes.

"Jamie is crazy, Brooke, I can't believe it," she said, "Nathan did it, his dream came true. I'm so proud of him."

"Me too," she said, "we all are. Where are Luke and the guys?"

"The guys are somewhere, they are trying to get closer, and Luke is with Julian somewhere." The phone fell silent, Haley wasn't sure if the phone went dead, "Brooke, you there?"

"Yeah," she said as she sat down, "I'm here."

"You ok," Haley asked.

"Yeah," she sighed. Julian hadn't called her back all day, now she wished she would've tried to reach him again, before this. She was afraid, that fear Brooke Davis thought was gone was back. She wiped the tears from her face, "Hales, I gotta go Keithan is fussing."

"Ok."

"I love you guys, tell Nate that I am so proud of him and I'll see you guys soon, ok."

"Ok, Brooke, we love you too, see you soon tigger." She hung her phone up and sat in silence alone as her son slept.

"Soon," she sighed. Brooke Davis knew that soon everything would change.


	5. Alone

**Author's note: I own nothing. Please read and review…hope you enjoy. I thought someone would've guessed that this was the secret...thought I planted enough hints...oh well. Read, review, hope you like. Not sure that I like this chapte, but it gets the job done.**

Julian Baker loved her. He used to. He used to be the man that made her smile. But Lucas Scott took that away. So he moved on. He found a feisty brunette that seemed to love him, but he lost her too. He looked in the mirror at his eye, quickly becoming darker. He held a towel with a few pieces of ice gently against it. He was sure that it was what he should've done, the black eye wasn't what he expected, but he knew he probably deserved it.

"You know you didn't have to say anything," she said as she wrapped her arms around him as he looked in the mirror.

"I did," he said with a sigh, "maybe not the way I did, but I did. And I won't apologize."

"Julian, look at you," Alex said as she kissed his cheek, "you are still so wrapped up in getting him back, and really, what did you think he would do? Did you think he would thank you?"

"It's not about him, it's about her. It's about her," he said as he kissed her.

"Don't," she said pushing him away, "I'm not that girl anymore," she said.

"And I'm not that guy. Alex, we can do this," he said, "me and you, we can do this."

"I want to believe you Julian, but you would go back to her."

"No, not anymore. I'm done, that part of my life is done," he sighed, "she'll never forgive me."

"That's not a good enough reason to be with me," she said as she walked away.

* * *

"Where have you been," Haley asked as Lucas walked in the hotel room. It was after four and they were getting ready to head to the airport.

"Out," he said, clearly angered by something.

"With Julian," she asked as she was packing Jamie's things.

"Yeah," he said as he started throwing things in his suitcase, "for a while."

"Ok," she said, realizing he didn't want to talk.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I have a lot on my mind," he said as he sat down.

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"Not yet," he said.

"Well, if you need to talk Luke, I'm here, Nathan too."

"I know," he sighed, "thanks Hales."

"Anytime."

* * *

Brooke laid Keithan in his crib. It was almost eight in the morning. She had nothing planned for the day other than signing the papers on her new house. She had fallen in love with the house immediately and new it was where she wanted to raise her son. She had called the moving company and they had backed her things in L.A. and they would arrive tomorrow, so she had a full day to get the few things at the Naley house ready. Haley texted and said they would be in around three so she had a few hours until they would get back.

"Hello," she said as she answered her cell phone.

"Brooke," he said.

"What," she asked bitterly, clearly annoyed at his call.

"Is there any chance you're coming home?"

"Julian, I told you," she sighed, "this isn't what I want or what I need. I bought a house here, this is where I want to be."

"With him?"

"It's not like that, you know that, of all people Julian, you know that. I want what is best for my son."

"Your son," he laughed, "that's funny."

"Look, I gotta go, I can't do this," she said.

"Ok," he said as the line went dead. She wiped her eyes. How on earth had they come to this? Julian, the guy that saved her from the bad, the one she thought could fix her now hurting her? She knew he cared for her, but their relationship wasn't what she wanted, it wasn't what she needed in her life. She knew that she wanted to provide the best life she could for Keithan and she wanted to be happy, neither of those things were happening in L.A. Of course Julian had loved her, she still loved him, she just knew that their love wasn't enough.

* * *

"Look buddy," Brooke said holding her son, "look who's home."

"Hey buddy," Haley said as she kissed the top of Keithan's head, "it was absolutely amazing, I mean it. That was awesome."

"You should've come Aunt Brooke," Jamie said following his mother, carrying all of his souvenirs, followed by Lucas. "We had so much fun and Julian was there."

"He was," Brooke asked.

"Yeah, we had fun," Jamie said.

"You did, did your dad have fun too?"

"It was really cool," Jamie said, "right Uncle Lucas?"

"Yeah buddy," he said standing there. Haley could sense the awkwardness in the room and reached for some of Jamie's bags.

"Hey buddy," she said, "why don't we go put some of this stuff away so we can go to Aunt Quinn's and pick your sister up?"

"Ok," Jamie said following his mother, leaving Lucas alone with Brooke and Keithan.

"This is something he will always remember," Brooke said as they watched the mother son duo go upstairs.

"Yeah," Lucas said.

"You ok," she asked, sensing something was clearly bothering him.

"Me," he said, "sure. I ran into Julian."

"Oh," she said not wanting to sound eager. She knew that whatever had taken place between the two had put Lucas in this mood.

"Is it true," he asked as she looked away.

"Lucas," she said with tears falling now.

"Tell me, Brooke, is it true?"

"I'm sorry, ok."

"Sorry," he said hatefully, "you're sorry? So it is true? Because I told him he was wrong, he was lying, because you," he said wiping his eyes, "you would never…"

_It had been a year. One year ago they were planning a funeral for Peyton. A year later here they stood. Brooke had her arm around Lucas as they stood in the cemetery. He had spent the last year at sea with his mom, Andy and Lily. She had missed him so much. He kissed the top of her head and she cried. _

"_It's been a year," he said, "it seems a lot longer."_

"_I know."_

"_I've missed you," he said._

"_I've missed you too," she said as he wrapped his arms around her._

"_Let's get out of here," he said. They walked back to his car. They spent the night reminiscing about their past, about Peyton, about their futures. She told him that she didn't think her and Julian would last. He told her how he still loved her. They drank. They drank a lot. Brooke woke up in the morning, his arms wrapped around her naked body. She felt safe, she felt loved, but then her eyes drifted to the nightstand. His nightstand. The picture of him and Peyton. Then reality set in. All the I love you's were nothing more than drunken talk. She realized that she would never be enough, she wasn't Peyton. So she left. She went to Julian, she knew she needed to try and fix things with him. She needed Julian to rescue her. _

"Luke, I'm sorry," she said as she kissed the top of her sons head.

"Is that supposed to make all of this ok? Brooke, I don't understand," he said.

"I should have said something, I know that, but I didn't want to make things worse for you, Luke, you were going through so much."

"Don't," he yelled, causing her to flinch, "don't you tell me what I was going through ok. You have no clue what I was going through. You left, Brooke, you ran to L.A. with him," he said as he wiped his eyes.

"I didn't know what to do, Lucas," she said.

"You could have told me," he said, "you should have told me."

"I know," she said wiping her eyes, she walked to where he was sitting on the couch and sat on the table in front of him, "I was wrong, I know that, Lucas, but it's done."

"That's easy for you to say," he laughed, "you didn't miss three months."

"_So how does it feel," Julian asked as he and Lucas sat in the bar._

"_What," Lucas smiled, "watching my little brother win?"_

"_No," Julian laughed, "being a dad."_

"_What are you talking about," Lucas asked confused. He knew Julian had a bit more to drink than he had, but he had no clue where he was going with this._

"_She didn't tell you? I thought that's why she went back."_

"_Julian, what the hell are you talking about?"_

"_Brooke," he laughed. "She fooled all of you, oh the baby was born early, he was premature, blah, blah, blah."_

"_I don't know what the hell you are talking about, Julian, I think you've had enough."_

"_Oh yeah, I have. I'm done playing daddy, I'm done helping her keep her secret." He looked at Lucas, he could almost see the wheels spinning, it was all clicking and he could see Lucas' heart breaking, "She lived up to everything everyone thought about high school Brooke." That was all he could take, he was surprised by how much his hand hurt as he walked away. He was confused, he was not sure what the truth was, but more than anything he was afraid. Lucas Scott was more afraid in that moment than he had been in his entire life._

"I can't take it back, and I'm sorry," she said honestly.

"I told you what I felt Brooke, I told you and you left, you walked out on me and never even thought to tell me," he cried, "you lied to me, to Haley and Nathan."

"And to myself, ok, I know that," she cried, "I screwed up, but Luke I was scared. You were a mess still, and you were hurting and I didn't want to get hurt again, and I didn't want my baby to get hurt."

"Our baby," he said as he wiped his eyes, "my son, Brooke. He's my son?"

"Yes," she said, "Keithan is your son Lucas. I found out I was pregnant right before Julian and I left. I lied to you guys about when I found out and how far along I was. I lied and I'm sorry." He held his head in his hands, she sat there holding the baby, she wasn't sure what to do or say, she knew he was upset. "Luke, please say something," she said, "please, you have to know how sorry I am, you have to understand."

"No," He said standing up, "I don't. I can't do this," he said walking out, leaving Brooke alone with their son. She kissed her son's cheek as tears streamed her face. This was what she was most afraid of.


	6. Can't

**Author's note: I own nothing. Please read and review…hope you enjoy. Thank you for all of the reviews...not sure how things will go from here...**

Lucas Scott was at the one place he felt he could be. The only place he wanted to be. He stood in the cemetery at the grave of his uncle. He was lost and if there was a time in his life that he needed Keith this was it. How had he not figured it out? How did he not know? Maybe he didn't want to. Maybe Brooke was right, maybe he was too messed up at that time. Maybe him knowing would've made it worse.

"What do I do," he said as he sat down, "what do I do Keith?"

"You can start by talking to me."

"Hey," he said turning towards the voice.

"She told me," Haley said as she sat beside him, "I'm sorry Luke, I had no idea."

"Me either," he sighed, "what do I do Haley? How do I fix this?"

"Talk to her."

"I can't. To be honest, I don't even want to see her," he said, "I don't want to hear the reasons and the stories, I just want to be his dad."

"Then that's what you do Lucas, you be the best dad to that little boy that you can be. That's what he needs," she said wiping her eyes, "he needs love. Here," she said handing him her cell phone.

"What, when," he stammered looking at the image on the screen.

"I took that picture that morning when you had Keithan while she was sleeping. I was in the kitchen and I heard Brooke talking and when I saw the three of you," she said as he handed her the phone back, "Luke that was magic. I know it sounds crazy, but in that moment, you holding that baby, the look on Brooke's face, all of it, it just made sense. Now," she sighed, "I get it."

"It's not that easy," he said as she leaned against him.

"It can be, Lucas, it can be that easy. You can make it that easy. I'm not saying you just forgive and forget, but Luke you've got to try to understand."

"I can't," he said bitterly, "and I'm not sure I even want to. Brooke made the choice, Haley, I've missed all of it, everything, he's three months old. I don't want to fix this, I just want to be his dad, I want to be his dad."

* * *

"Hey," Nathan said as he walked into the guest room that Brooke had been occupying.

"Hey," she said wiping her eyes, "congratulations by the way."

"Thanks," he said as she continued to pack things into her suitcase, "where are you going?"

"I am gonna stay at a hotel until I close on the house," she said as she looked towards the crib where Keithan was sleeping, "we'll be out of your hair soon enough."

"Hey," he said as he pulled her in for a hug, "Brooke you're not in our hair, ok, you're family."

"I screwed up," she said, "I messed this up, Nate, and I can't fix it."

"Brooke, we all screw up, you know that. Luke isn't perfect either."

"I didn't tell him he was a father Nathan, that's not just a screw up," she said as she sat on the edge of the bed holding a fleece blanket, "he's three months old and Luke is just now seeing him, I did that."

"Yeah, but you thought it was what was best, Brooke."

"No, I was selfish and I put my own fears ahead of my son," she said bitterly, "I guess I'm more like my mother than I thought."

"What's done is done," he said as he looked towards the sleeping baby, "but you guys can make this right for him."

"That's all I want," Brooke said as the baby started to fuss.

"Let me," Nathan said as he walked towards the crib. He reached in and picked his nephew up, "come here buddy. You're a big guy, huh, Uncle Nathan is going to spoil you rotten buddy, we're gonna have so much fun with daddy and Jamie," he said holding the baby, he looked at Brooke who was wiping her eyes, "you and Luke can get through this, you can find a way, talk to him Brooke, try to make him understand."

"I can't," she said, "I can't, because I don't understand all of it, so how can I make him? I screwed up bad this time."

"Try," Nathan said, "for him," he said as he held the baby.

* * *

Brooke was afraid. The thing she feared most happened. She knew it was inevitable. Lucas would find out, but in her mind it would be ok as long as she was the one who told him. The reality was that she knew it was never going to be easy. The conversation would end in tears and yelling, but they could work it out. They had too. She never knew Julian Baker would be that malicious, that cold that he would do this. That he could hurt her and Keithan this way.

"Hey," the blonde said opening the door, Brooke stood there speechless. She wasn't sure what she would say, how she would explain it to him, but she knew she needed to try, "he's not here."

"Oh," she said as Kenzie stood there with a phony smile, "I'll go."

"You know he doesn't love you."

"Excuse me," Brooke said from the steps.

"You don't matter to him, not anymore," she smiled as Brooke stood there shocked, "he told me about the baby, but you, you mean nothing to him, you never did, but then again you're not Peyton."

"You don't know anything about me and my son," Brooke said as she started to walk away.

"I know that Lucas loves me," she said walking towards Brooke, "we're getting married, did you know that? We talked about it today, about the life we can give Keithan, the life he deserves," she said holding her hand up showing Brooke the ring, "we're going to be happy, and we will have Keithan in our lives."

"Who do you think you are? You don't know me and you sure as hell don't know my son," Brooke said angrily, "Lucas may be his father, but you, you mean nothing to me or my son."

"We'll see about that," she smirked, "a married couple is going to look a lot better in front of a judge than a single mom who works a lot, who sleeps around and lied about the father of her child, that is if Lucas is the father."

"You know nothing about me," Brooke yelled.

"I know enough," she smiled, "I know who you were, the easy cheerleader, the sex tape star, the one who slept Chris Kller, I know plenty."

"You're not even worth it," Brooke said as she walked towards her car, she stopped and turned towards the blonde standing on the porch. Is this really what her life had become? Would Lucas really try and take her son from her?

* * *

Lucas Scott walked up the steps to his home. The home he grew up in, the home that he was going to share with Peyton and their child. The home he'd always imagined raising his children in. Haley was right, he knew that he wanted to be a father to Keithan. More than anything, he wanted to be a father to that baby. He sat on the swing, he didn't want to think about everything, he wanted to hold his son, to know that everything would work out. He needed everything to be ok.

"Hey you," she said as she sat beside him.

"Hey," he said.

"She was here earlier," she said as she smiled, "I told her we were getting married."

"What," he asked, "why? Kenz I told you that I wasn't sure, I told you…"

"Shh," she said, "it's all going to be ok, Luke. I just told her that you don't love her. You can be the dad to that baby, but that doesn't mean she matters. Lucas we will get married and we will get the baby and everything will be perfect for us."

"No," he said, "no, Kenzie. This isn't how things work, ok. She's his mother, Brooke and I may be over, but she's his mother, I will not try and rip him away from her."

"Like she did you? Do you hear yourself? When you came home earlier you were all about us, Lucas, us, me and you and what kind of life we could have."

"Kenzie, I was pissed, ok? I was angry, hell I still am," he said, "but you had no right to tell Brooke anything. What happens between me and Brooke is between us. Keithan is our son, and I will not take him from her. I may not like what she's done," he said with a sigh, "but I can't hurt her like that, I won't."

"So what are you saying, Lucas? Are you still in love with her?"

"I can't answer that," he said as Kenzie stood up, "I can't."

"That was your answer," she said, "I was wrong about you Lucas Scott, you're a joke. We're done, I'm done," she said as she started to walk away, stopping she turned towards him, "you can't even tell me you love me can you? You can't tell me that you love me?"

"I can't," he said, "I'm sorry." She shook her head and walked away. The truth was he was angry with Brooke, and in his heart he wasn't sure that he could ever forgive her, or that he would want to. But, one thing he knew for certain was that he was not his father. He wanted his son to have the best possible life, he wanted Keithan to be happy and loved, and he knew that would take both of his parents. As much anger as he felt in his heart right now, he couldn't ever take his son away from Brooke, he wouldn't.


	7. Maybe

**Author's note: I own nothing. Please read and review…hope you enjoy. **

Keithan James Scott was five months old today. He spent today with his father, like he had many other days during the last two months. Brooke and Lucas hadn't spoken since that night. The night he accused her of trying to keep his son from him, the night he told her that he hated her and what she had become. Lucas Scott had spent the last two months focused on one thing, his son. He had only known his son for two months, but sometimes it seemed like an eternity.

"_Luke," Nathan said as he opened the front door to his brother._

"_Is Brooke around," Lucas asked, clearly angry still._

"_Yeah," Nathan said, "she's in the kitchen with Haley, I don't know if this is a good time man."_

"_Really, Nate, you're going to stand there and tell me that it's not a good time," his voice raised now, "I can't believe you, my own brother, on her side."_

"_Luke, it's not like that, you know that, the kids are sleeping," Nathan sighed as Haley and Brooke walked towards the living room, "it's been a long day."_

"_Hell, it's been three fucking months man," Lucas said._

"_Nathan," Brooke said, "it's fine. Can you keep an eye on Keithan, Haley?"_

"_Sure," she said as Nathan put an arm around her._

"_Thanks," Brooke said closing the door behind her as she followed Lucas to the front porch. "I came by earlier to talk but Kenzie said you weren't there."_

"_I wasn't," he said bitterly, "I went to the cemetery."_

"_Look you have a right to be pissed Lucas, I get it."_

"_You get it? Really? And, I'm thrilled that you think I have a right to be mad Brooke, that's classic."_

"_Be mad, Lucas, ok, hate me."_

"_Don't worry," he said calmly, "I do."_

"_You will not take my son from me," she said wiping her eyes, "your little plan of marrying her, all of it Lucas, you can't take him."_

"_I am going to be in his life Brooke, I am his father," he said as he started walking away, "I want nothing to do with you or what you've become. You and me are nothing. Keithan is my son and I will see him and you can't stop me."_

"_Is that what you think, that I don't want you in his life? God, Luke that's the reason I came back," she said, "I want him to know you, to know his family, I never wanted to keep him from you. But, for you to marry her and want to take him from me, I don't even know you anymore."_

"_We're not getting married, we're done, just like me and you Brooke. We're done," he said as he walked towards the red Mustang._

"Hey," Haley said as she opened the door to Lucas carrying a sleeping Keithan.

"Hey," he said. This had been the routine. The Naley house was the middle ground for Brooke and Lucas. Neither were there at the same time, but they were both welcome, always had been and always would be. Nathan and Haley had agreed to let them pick up and drop off Keithan, they were family. Two months and no incidents, so clearly it was a good choice. Brooke and Keithan had moved into their own home shortly after that night, Lucas was still in his house. Karen, Andy and Lily were in Charlotte and visited frequently.

"He's getting so big," Haley said as she kissed her nephew's cheek, "looking more and more like you every day."

"Five months today," he said as he laid him on the couch beside where he sat. "Where are Jamie and Grace at today?"

"With Aunt Quinn taking pictures at the beach. Quinn loves photographing the kids," Haley said, "it won't be too long before Clay convinces her to have one."

"I should probably go," Lucas said glancing at his watch, it was nearly five and Brooke usually picked their son up around five.

"Or, maybe, you could stay, Lucas," she pleaded, "Brooke will be here soon and it would give you a chance to talk. You guys are his parents, you've eventually got to talk to her, to see her."

"I can't," he said as he kissed his son, "I love you buddy and I'll see you tomorrow."

"You're good with him Luke," Haley said as he kissed the top of her head.

"It's easy, he's my world," he said looking at his son sleep, "I'm gonna go, I'll see you later Hales."

"Bye," she said as she watched him walk out. It broke her heart to see Lucas and Brooke this way.

* * *

"I'm so sorry Haley," Brooke said as she walked in to her best friend's house. She could smell the aroma of the feast Haley was preparing as she made her way to the kitchen. She had lost track of time trying to get the finishing touches on Millie's dress done.

"It's no problem," Haley said from the stove.

"Hey buddy," Brooke said as she kissed her son's head. He was sitting in the high chair watching his aunt cook, "mamma missed you today."

"He really loves that sippy cup," Haley said as she watched Brooke and her son.

"He's getting so big," Brooke sighed as she sat on the counter, "he's looking more and more like Lucas."

"I said the same thing today," Haley chuckled.

"I can't believe he's five months already," Brooke said. "Has Luke said anything about him trying to say words? I swear he said dada the other day."

"He hasn't mentioned anything," Haley said shrugging, "but here's an idea, why don't the two of you talk about it? He's your son, both of you should be sharing these talks, not me and Nathan mediating."

"I'm sorry, if it's too much we can try to figure something else out."

"Brooke," Haley said as she sat beside her, "it's not that, it's not. It's just I see you and I see Luke and I see Keithan, but I don't see you together, and that's how it should be. You guys should be able to be in the same place at the same time for this little guy."

"He hates me," Brooke said.

"He doesn't hate you tigger," she said.

"Yeah, Haley, he does," she said fidgeting with her cell phone, "and I deserve it. I kept Keithan from him for three months. He missed everything because I didn't tell him, so yeah he does hate me."

"Brooke Davis, I have known Lucas my entire life," she said as they watched Keithan, "he's angry, yes, he's mad, sure, but him hating you, no. Lucas is," she paused, "complicated. I mean you didn't tell him and he found out from Julian, Brooke. Julian told him he had a son, I mean Julian of all people? It's not about him hating you, it's about not wanting to love you."

"I don't even know what that means."

"Ok, you and Lucas are both so wrapped up in being pissed at each other," she smirked, "maybe if you both let your guard down a little things wouldn't be so tense. You've both screwed up, you've both done wrong, but in the end, I think you're both scared."

"Alright, Plato, let's assume you're right," Brooke smiled, "what exactly are we afraid of?"

"Loving each other, allowing yourselves to be together with your son, maybe not in some romantic way, but being parents together, of sharing yourselves. I'm just saying," she smiled as she went back to the stove.

"Ok," Brooke said as she started getting Keithan from the high chair, "you know what buddy? Aunt Haley has lost her mind, yeah, she has too much free time with Uncle Nathan gone. We're gonna have to tell Quinn to stop stealing your cousins away. Yes we are, that way Aunt Haley can keep her mind occupied."

"Funny Brooke," Haley said as they hugged, she kissed the baby, "I will see you two tomorrow, right?"

"Yes, as long as you can control your delusions," Brooke smiled as she gathered Keithan's bag, "I love you tutor mom, but Lucas hates me, and I'm ok with it."

"And she says I'm delusional," Haley smiled at her brunette best friend, "See ya tomorrow."

"Maybe," she giggled, "If you're lucky," Brooke said with a laugh as she and the baby left.

* * *

"Hey beautiful," he said as he climber in bed beside his wife.

"Hey," she said as she laid her head in him.

"You ok Hales," he asked.

"Yeah," she said with a sigh. "Do you think they'll ever be ok?"

"Who," he asked, confused slightly.

"Your bone head brother and Brooke."

"Yeah," he sighed, "eventually. Tomorrow they can't avoid each other."

"Thanks to Mouth and Millie," she said, "tomorrow is going to be interesting. I mean who has a wedding without a rehearsal?"

"Someone who doesn't want the best man and maid of honor killing each other," he laughed.

"So not funny," she said playfully slapping his arm.

"Look, tomorrow they don't get a choice, they have to be together and they have to behave, so who knows maybe it'll all work out."

"Maybe."


	8. She's good

**Author's note: I own nothing. Please read and review…hope you enjoy. Not sure this was where I wanted to go but its where I went...**

Brooke Davis loved weddings. She loved her friends too. So this wedding, the marriage of two of her best friends was bliss. Almost. She knew there would be awkward moments. Lucas was Mouth's best man and she was Millie's maid of honor. No avoiding Lucas Scott all day she thought as she walked down the aisle. She had her signature smile on her face as she wore the simple red gown she had created. Of course it was Millie who had decided on the final outcome. She carried a bouquet of white roses. As she approached the alter she gave Mouth a wink, still avoiding looking at the best man.

She stood and looked towards the back of the church, waiting for Millie's entrance. She noticed Karen holding her son in her arms seated next to Andy and Lilly. The Naley family sitting next to them. She smiled as Karen held Keithan, she loved how much care she took with him. Karen had bonded with the boy instantly and loved being a grandmother unlike her own mother. Keithan was very lucky to be a part of the Scott family, Brooke was thankful he had them, all of them. As the door opened for Millicent and her father to make their way down the aisle, Brooke turned her attention towards Mouth. He had such happiness on his face. He loved this girl, that was clear.

Brooke didn't want to look at him, she didn't. At least that is what she tried to convince herself of. She didn't want to see him standing there, but she did. She glanced past Mouth for a split second and she saw him. Lucas still made her heart race and she hated that. She didn't want to feel that, not now. She didn't want to take the trip down memory lane, but she did. Standing there watching her two friends exchange vows all the while remembering the Naley wedding. The speech that Lucas gave at their reception.

"_The last time I gave a speech about Nathan and Haley was, well, at their first reception. And I remember saying, prepare to be surprised. Well I have to say, even I was surprised. Because, you see, they do something that's very rare to see in someone our age. Actually, it's very rare to see in anybody. They give their heart's to each other, unconditionally. And that's what true love really is. It's not this fairy-tale life that never knows pain. But it's two souls facing it together, and diminishing it, with unconditional love." Lucas __raises his glass, "__ To Nathan and Haley...Scott"_

"You may kiss your bride," and with that Mouth did just that, he kissed his wife. "I now present to you Mr. and Mrs. Marvin McFadden," everyone began clapping. Brooke wiped her eyes and handed Millie her bouquet. She took a deep breath as they watched the couple walk down the aisle. She stepped towards Lucas, who put his arm out. She placed her arm around his and held her breath.

"You look beautiful," he whispered as they made their way towards the back of the church to join the newlyweds. When they got to Mouth and Millie they immediately separated, Brooke hugging Millie and Mouth and Lucas sharing a hug. Everyone was coming to congratulate the married couple, Brooke stood on one side and Lucas the other.

* * *

"Ok say cheese," Quinn said as she snapped a photo of Haley and Brooke sitting together. Brooke was holding Keithan as they watched everyone.

"Your sister and her damn camera," Brooke laughed as Keithan started fussing.

"Would you like to dance," Nathan asked as he grabbed Haley's hand.

"You ok," Haley asked looking at Brooke.

"Go," she smiled, "dance with your handsome husband before somebody else does."

"Like you," Nathan smiled, "if you want a turn all you have to do is ask Davis."

"I'll remember that," she said as the couple danced away. She was watching the couples all dancing together and her heart felt a little broken. It wasn't often Brooke Davis attended events like this alone. Of course she wasn't alone, she had her baby in her arms.

* * *

"He's amazing," Karen said as she kissed the top of Keithan's head before sitting next to Brooke.

"I think so," Brooke smiled. She and Karen hadn't really talked about everything and it made her nervous. She wasn't sure what Karen felt or thought of all of it.

"Are you happy Brooke? You're doing so well."

"I'm trying," she said as she held her son close, "it's hard, but I'm trying."

"You know Brooke, in life if you let it, you can always come up with reasons to give up, to let go. But if you don't," she said looking across the room, "you might find love in places that you've never imagined, in your work, or new relationships."

"Your children."

"Yeah, even your children," Karen smiled, "whatever it is, Brooke, don't give up. My son once told me that if you're looking for reasons not to be with someone you'll always find them. He also told me that at some point you have to let go and give your heart what it deserves."

"Sounds like a smart guy," Brooke smiled.

"I think so," Karen said as she reached for her grandson, "now there are no excuses."

"What," Brooke asked confused, she looked up to see Lily and Lucas coming towards them.

"Lily he's fine, I told you," Lucas said as they approached Karen and Brooke.

"Yes," Karen said as she stood, "this boy is fine, this one," she said placing her hand on Lucas' shoulder, "is another story. Come on Lily let's go find Andy and leave these two alone."

"She's good," Brooke said as they were left alone. Lucas stood there, avoiding looking at her, she could feel it. "I'm sorry," she said, "I just need you to know that Lucas."

"I know," he said as he sat down, he sighed, "I'm sorry too Brooke."

"So what do we do now," she asked sincerely, "what do we do to make things ok for our son?"

"This, I think," he said looking at her. They both sat quiet for a few minutes watching everyone, he stood up and put his hand out, "dance with me?"

"What," she asked surprised by his actions.

"Dance with me Brooke," he smiled, "it's just a dance."

"Ok," she smiled as she took his hand. She followed him to the dance floor, he wrapped his arms around her, she laid her head against his chest. For the first time in a long time she had hope. Hope that things could be ok again. Hope that she and Lucas could exist in the same world for their son. She looked up at him, his eyes met hers and she wanted nothing more than to kiss him, so she did. He didn't pull away, he didn't try to stop her, instead he kissed her back. It was a sweet simple kiss, "it was just a kiss," she whispered.

"A kiss is never just a kiss," he smiled as he kissed the top of her head.

"We're gonna be ok, right," she asked. She wasn't sure what they were doing, but in this moment, this felt nice, it felt right and she was so afraid that it was all going to come crashing down once the song stopped.

"Yeah, I think so," he said, "I want us to be ok, Brooke. We've got a son and he needs both of us."

"I know, and I want everything for him, I want him to be happy and loved," she said as tears were falling, "Luke I never wanted to keep him from you, I just didn't know how to do this."

"Shh," he said as he pulled her closer, "I can't say that I get it, that I understand, because I don't, but I want to ok? I want us to talk, Brooke, I want us to be able to be parents and not need Haley and Nathan in the middle. I want to pick him up at your house and I want us to take him to school together the first day, and when he goes to doctor appointments and everything, I want to be there too."

"I want that too, that's all I ever wanted Lucas. I just didn't know how to do this," she said.

"We'll figure it out," he said as the music stopped, "together, we'll figure it out."

"A dance is never just a dance," she smiled at him as they let go of each other.

"I guess not," he smiled as they both caught a glimpse of Karen sitting with Andy holding Keithan, he laughed, "she's good."


	9. Boxes

**Author's note: I own nothing. Please read and review…hope you enjoy. **

"Thanks," she said as she unlocked the door to her home. She had lived in this house for nearly two months and this was the first time Lucas had been there, it was nice. "I was planning on catching a ride with Haley, but she had other plans apparently."

"Yeah, I'm guessing her and my mother worked this out," Lucas chuckled carrying Keithan inside, Brooke turned on the light and he looked around the living room, "this is really nice Brooke."

"I love it," she smiled nervously. Lucas Scott still could make her heart race after everything they had gone through, "I can take him so you can go," she said as she sat her things down.

"I can stay," he said holding their son, "for a little while, I mean if you don't mind," he smiled, "spend some time with him here."

"Yeah," she said pulling her hair out of the bun it had been in all day, "that's fine, it'll give me a chance to get a bath in. This day was long," she said, "weddings are so worth it though."

"You did great," he said smiling at her as he sat in the leather chair still holding Keithan, "the wedding turned out great."

"They're happy," she said as she placed a kiss on Keithan's forehead, "I am gonna hit the shower if you don't mind keeping an eye on him."

"Go ahead, it's fine," he said.

"Thanks Luke," she said as she walked towards the stairs, she stopped and turned around, "his room is the first one on the left, and there's food and stuff in the kitchen, and the TV or movies."

"We're good," he said, she nodded and made her way upstairs. He smiled, this was nice.

* * *

"She was pooped," Nathan said as he came walking out of Grace's room.

"It was a long day," Haley said wrapping her arms around her husband.

"Yeah it was," he said kissing her.

"Really," Jamie said shaking his head as he walked up the stairs.

"James Lucas Scott," Haley laughed at her son, "one day you will be in love and understand all of this."

"Never," he said, causing Nathan to smile, "I'm never gonna get married and all that stuff, I'm gonna be a bachelor just like Clay."

"Well buddy, I hate to inform you but Clay isn't a bachelor really," Haley said with a laugh.

"Yeah, he and Aunt Quinn are pretty close to being in love," Nathan said.

"Well not me, I'm never gonna fall in love," Jamie said as he walked into his bedroom.

"Scott charm, wonder where he gets that from," Haley chuckled.

"Speaking of Lucas," Nathan said as they made their way to their room, "what was that little concoction you and Karen worked up with Brooke and Luke?"

"Whatever do you mean darling husband," she asked innocently.

"Come on Hales, Brooke was supposed to ride with us, then the next thing I know you are telling her she can't and Karen asks Luke to give them a ride."

"They gotta get through this screwy place, you know, for Keithan," she sighed, "and themselves. Tonight was the first time they have actually spoken to each other in two months Nathan, that's big, it's huge."

"It is, but we can't push something, Haley, it's gotta happen on its own. Besides, they may not want more than what they've got."

"Well, I know Brooke and I know Lucas, and Nathan they have both been miserable, and it's not good for their son. They have to be parents together," she said, "I'm not saying they have to be together, but they have to be able to talk, to share things, if not for each other, for their son."

"You're right," he said kissing her, "I love you Haley James Scott."

"I love you too," she smiled as Nathan wrapped his arms around her waist.

* * *

Brooke was making her way down the stairs and realized how quiet things seemed. She wondered what Keithan and Lucas were up to. She was running her hands through her damp hair as she stopped and saw them. She smiled, Lucas was sleeping in the chair with Keithan sleeping against his chest. She stood there watching, smiling. This was nice, she thought, being able to see Lucas and Keithan together. She hadn't seen the interaction between them, but this was nice she thought.

"You're staring," he said as he opened his eyes and looked towards her.

"Watching," she smiled walking towards the couch, "not staring," she said as she sat down, "you are really good Lucas, being with him."

"He's my world," he said. He smiled at her, it was nice, being like this.

"I'm sorry I kept him from you," she said. The truth was she really did regret it now, but at the time she thought it was best. The choices she made were what she thought was best.

"I can't tell you that it's ok," he said, "I'm sorry."

"I know," she said as she wiped her eyes, "I know that it's not ok. It wasn't fair to you or Keithan, and I am sorry for that. I can't change it, I can't turn back time. But, I am sorry."

"I know," he said. He could see the remorse in her face, hear it in her voice. Lucas Scott could still read her somehow after all this time. "He's amazing," he smiled at her, "you're a great mom, Brooke, and it's easy to see how much you love him."

"I do, I love him more than I ever thought I could."

"You've got a big heart," he said, "you always have."

"When I was pregnant I knew it was gonna be a boy," she smiled, "I just had a feeling you know. And I knew that his name needed to be special."

"Keithan James," he said with a smile.

"Keithan James Scott," she said fidgeting with the pillow on the couch. "I wanted it to be a good name, and I wanted it to be something that I could tell him about, you know, like Jamie being named after you," he nodded. "Keith was so important to you and your mom, and Nathan being his uncle," she said, "James for his aunt and cousin," she smiled.

"It's a good name," Lucas said. It was a good name. When he finally stopped being angry about things, he had finally realized that his son was named after some of the most important people to him, and he was grateful for that. "I'm glad he's here, in my life, both of you."

"Me too," she smiled, wiping her eyes, "I'm glad to be here, to let him grow up here, with you and your family. My parents have not really spent any time with him, you know, he's five months old and my dad has seen him once. I'm glad he's got the Scott family."

"You do too," he said, "Brooke, you've always been a part of this," he hesitated, he wasn't sure what he wanted to say. The truth was that he hadn't ever imagined Brooke not being there. Even before he knew about his son, he could never imagine Brooke not being a part of his life. He wasn't sure what would happen with him and Brooke, but he knew she would always be in his life, "you're the mother of my son, and you'll always be a part of our family."

"You're a good dad," she said, "he's a lucky little guy to have you Luke."

"Well," he said, "I think he's got a pretty great mom too. Keithan James Scott is one luck boy," he said kissing the top of his sons head.

"Keith would be proud of you," she said. He looked at her and she could see that he had tears in his eyes, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he chuckled, "I just miss him, you know. I miss him a lot, and when I'm with Keithan I always wonder what Keith would say or do. I miss him every day."

"Well I know that he is watching over the two of you every day," she said wiping her eyes, "Peyton too."

"You miss her," he asked. They had never really talked about Peyton since that night over a year ago. Neither one of them wanted to bring up that pain and hurt.

"Yeah," she sighed, "everyday."

"She would be so happy for you," he said, knowing it was true. The thing Peyton wanted was to always make sure Brooke was ok. The funny thing was, that was what Brooke wanted for her, and somehow Lucas Scott always found himself in the middle of it. The truth was, he had always felt obligated to be with Peyton, to try, because that's what Brooke wanted. Peyton too, they had talked about it years ago, right after graduation. Their relationship had its moments, but somehow in his heart Lucas had never really believed that Peyton Sawyer was the one.

"I hope so, I hope she would understand," Brooke said hanging her head slightly.

"Hey," he said, wanting to comfort her in some way, "Peyton would be happy for you, being a mom is something you always wanted, Brooke, and she would be happy. Don't ever doubt that."

"Thanks," she said. She sighed as she stood up, "I wanna show you something." She walked upstairs to her room. She went to her closet and found a small box. She carried it downstairs, "this was something Peyton made, before," Brooke wiped her eyes as she sat the small flowered box on the table, "she would want you to have it."

"Ok," he said looking confused.

"I've never opened it," she said sitting back down, "it was for Sawyer, if something happened to her, Peyton made this for Sawyer and you, so I want you to have it."

"Thanks," he said, wondering what was in the box. He knew Peyton had been filming and working on stuff, but he didn't know what for. "It's getting late, I should probably head home so you can get some sleep."

"Oh," she said standing, "I can take him."

"We both could," said standing, "if you don't mind, I mean, maybe we could put him to bed together before I go."

"That's good," she said with a slight smile. She made her way upstairs, Lucas following, carrying their sleeping son.

"This is nice," Lucas said as they walked into the nursery. Brooke pulled the small blankets back so that Luke could lay the baby down. "He's something," Lucas said pulling the blue blanket up over their son, "I love you buddy," he said kissing his head.

"I'm sorry you missed so much," she said watching Lucas tuck their son in. She handed him a blue box, "I want you to have this."

"What is this," he asked taking the box.

"It's," she hesitated, "everything, from when I was pregnant, when he was born. I wrote to you, to him, I kept everything, Lucas, and I want you to have it. You missed all of it because of me, and I want you to know what it was like, what he was like."

"Thank you," he said as he wrapped his arms around her. She closed her eyes and breathed in his scent, everything about him in this moment. He was still wearing his tux from the wedding, he looked handsome she thought to herself.

"You're welcome," she said.

"I should go," he said as she kissed the sleeping baby. She turned on the monitor as they walked towards the door. They made their way downstairs, Brooke followed him in the living room where he grabbed the other box she had given him.

"Thanks again, Lucas," she said as he walked out onto her porch, she stood in the doorway.

"You're welcome Brooke," he smiled as he looked at her standing there holding her door half open, "it had to be red huh?"

"Yeah, it did," she smiled at him, referring to the color of her front door, "I liked being the girl behind the red door."

"Well," he smiled as he started to walk away, turning to look at her one last time, "I always loved the girl behind the red door," he whispered. She waved as he got in his Mustang, she closed her door and sighed. It was a start.


	10. Goodbye

**Author's note: I own nothing. Please read and review…hope you enjoy. **

Lucas Scott was afraid. He sat in his kitchen with two boxes on the table. He was afraid.

"What are you doing up so late," he asked as his mother walked into the kitchen. They were staying with him while in town for Mouth's wedding, and tonight he was thankful.

"Just not too tired," she said. She got a glass of water and stood beside Lucas, "what's with the boxes?"

"When I took Brooke and Keithan home," he smiled at her, "thank you for that by the way."

"You're quite welcome," she said sitting across from her son, "how did it go?"

"Good, I think," he hesitated, "I mean we talked some, and she gave me these boxes."

"And what are these boxes?"

"This," he said placing his hand on the blue box, "this is Brooke's, stuff from her pregnancy, and when he was born. This," placing his hand on the floral box, "was Peyton's. She gave it to Brooke for me if something happened, Peyton made it for me and the baby."

"I see," Karen said, watching her son, seeing the pain in his face, "so have you opened them?"

"No," he sighed. The truth was Lucas Scott wasn't sure he wanted to open the boxes. "I can't, you know, it's been hard for me, this last year being alone and angry, hurt, and now that I've got Keithan and Brooke," Karen smiled at that, at his wording, "I mean having Keithan, it's just the greatest feeling in the world. I look at him and I see so much, I see my life and being happy again, but then there's this."

"Peyton was a part of your life," Karen said as she watched Lucas run his hand over the lid of the floral box, "Lucas, she was your wife, even if it was for a day, and you two were going to have a child and a life together."

"It's hard," he said.

"I know, but it is a part of your past, you can't erase it, it's always going to be there," she said taking his hand, "then you have this, and this, this is your future Lucas," she said placing her hand on the blue box. "Keithan is your son, he is the most important thing in your life, and along with that comes Brooke. I know that you two have a complicated history, but this is your future and I think you know that."

"I sometimes wonder why things happened like this," he said, "you know me being with Peyton. And I know that sounds horrible, it makes me seem as bad as Dan. But, I wanted Brooke to be happy, and if me being that guy, being with Peyton really made her happy, that's what I did. And now here I am, stuck."

"Lucas you're not stuck, you don't have to be."

"I'm afraid of this, all of it. Peyton's gone," he ran his hands through his hair, "she's gone and that part of my life is gone. I don't want to pretend it didn't happen, that it didn't matter, but I'm afraid that this," he said pushing the floral box further away, "will hurt where I'm at right now."

"That it will hurt Brooke?"

"Yeah," he sighed, "I am afraid that it will hurt her, and Mom, I don't want to hurt her. Tonight was amazing, being able to be there, together, with Keithan. For us to be able to talk, to put him to bed together, it's just I don't want to make things worse. I want to move forward and give Keithan everything, and I want to be ok with Brooke."

"Well, Brooke knows that you have a past with Peyton, Lucas, and I'm sure that whatever is in this box isn't going to change things. Brooke wants what any mother wants, she wants her son to be happy and loved. She knows you love him, Lucas, so she's not taking him away, I don't think she's going anywhere."

"It's not that," he said, "I just don't want her to feel guilty about our son."

"Lucas, why on Earth would she? The two of you are adults, and honey Peyton died, Luke, you have the right, you have to be able to move on. You can't live in mourning forever, believe me I know that." Karen Roe was a woman who understood the loss and pain of losing the person you love, but she also knew that you could move on, that you could fall in love again. "You will be ok, Lucas, you have an amazing son," she said kissing his head, "and you and Brooke are going to be ok. So, if you want to, open the boxes, Lucas, open them and remember your past and where you've been. Then you look at your life, what you have right in front of you and what you really want and you focus on that. You focus on your son and yourself," she smiled, "and the family you want to have, the life you want to have. And if you don't want to open them, don't."

"This," he said as he placed his hand on the blue box, "doesn't scare me. I want to know what is in here, I want to know everything, I need to. But this," he said looking at the floral box, "this is the past that's gone. Peyton's gone and the guy I was then is gone. Brooke wanted me to have this because she feels bad I think, she feels like she's betrayed Peyton somehow, but she didn't. I mean Peyton and I were the ones who hurt her, who betrayed her. I just don't know that I want to see what's here, that I want to remember it. Is that bad, does that make me horrible?"

"No, I don't think it does, son. I think you need to focus on the life you want now, the life you want for yourself and your son. And if that box and its contents won't help you move towards that, then you shouldn't open it. But, I think for you to move on, to move forward, for you to be able to open your heart Lucas, you need to. You need to face your past and the choices you've made, the hurt that you've felt, and that you've caused," she said, "you are the only one who knows what is right for you."

"Thanks," he said as she started to walk away, "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too." Lucas let out a sigh as he sat alone in the kitchen with the two boxes. He looked at the floral box. That box was full of a life that could have been, but was no more. Peyton was gone, the child they had was gone. The past was the past, and Lucas didn't think that what was in that box could help him. He didn't want to remember, sometimes it made him feel horrible, worse than Dan, but other times he knew it was best for him. The life he and Peyton had was gone.

The small blue box made him have hope. He knew that he and Brooke were far from good, but the two of them shared a son, this beautiful, wonderful boy. They would always be connected because of Keithan. That made him smile, thinking about his son and Brooke. The last two months had been amazing, getting to spend time with his son, but this night, being able to spend time with Keithan and Brooke was so much more. Lucas knew that his relationship with Brooke had been over for many years, but he had hope. He opened the box, he found sonogram pictures, each with how far along Brooke was written on them. He found pictures of her belly as her pregnancy progressed. He sifted through notes and sketches. There was a tiny bib that said "I love my daddy" on and it made him small. There were several snap shots, mostly of Keithan, some with Brooke. Lucas wiped his eyes as he continued to look over the contents of the box. He got to the bottom of the box and there was an envelope with his name on it.

_Dear Lucas,_

_I had my sonogram today. I wanted to call you, I even dialed your number, but I couldn't do it. I can't. I don't know what to say to you. I mean this is the biggest thing in my world, I am pregnant, and today I found out it's a boy. Your boy, our boy. I wish you were here, or I was there. I know that's crazy, Luke, I do. You and Peyton were married and you were going to have a life together. I know you stopped loving me a long time ago. It's funny, lately I've been thinking a lot about that night in New York, when you found out the book was getting published. That was one of the best nights of my life. I thought about Angie the other day. I was working on my sketches and it made me think of that night I came to your house. Luke you were so good with her. I know you would be an amazing dad, the best. I'm just so afraid of hurting you. You were supposed to have this life with Peyton and now she's gone, they both are. I wish I could be strong enough to tell you, to let you know that you are going to be a dad, but I'm afraid. Julian has been so supportive. He wants me to tell you, he says you need to know. He's right, but it doesn't make it any easier. He loves me, I think he does, I know he loves this baby already. That kills me to know that you think this baby is his, but I don't know how to undo this. I don't know what to do anymore. I love you Lucas Eugene Scott and I always will. Someday I will bring him to you, to Tree Hill, to let you know him, because that's what I want. I want him to be loved, to know that he is loved. I want him to know you and your family. That is the one thing I can never give him, a family like yours, afamily that I once thought I would be a part of. I want that life we talked about in New York, two and a girl, and I want it all with you. I'm afraid, but hopefully someday I won't be, someday I'll be able to tell you everything. God, that day I told you to go to Peyton at our state championship game, that was the hardest thing, but I needed you both to be happy, even if it nearly killed me. I will always love you even though when you find out about this baby, our son, you will never forgive me. I am coming to terms with that. It's hard, knowing that you'll never be able to forgive me, to love me, to let me be in your life, but that's the choice I made when I came here, to L.A. with Julian. He wanted me to stay, as much as he loved me, he wanted me to stay, to tell you about the baby. I miss you, every day, I miss you so much. I feel this baby kick, and I think about when he'll be born. I wish you knew, sometimes I wish Julian could've told you instead, he wanted to, but I couldn't let him. I'm sorry and someday I hope you can forgive me Lucas. I will always love you, and I know you will love our son even if you hate me. I am naming him Keithan. Keithan James Scott. I want his name to mean something, and that name means a lot to me and I hope you will like it. Keith was so important to you, and to your mom and Lily. Nathan is your brother, and he's my friend, and Haley is my best friend and Jamie is our godson. So when he asks me someday who he was named after I will be proud to tell him he was named after hid great uncle Keith, his uncle Nathan, his aunt Haley and cousin Jamie, and that Scott is his daddy's last name. I hope someday you can understand the choices I've made, and I hope someday that you'll forgive me. But most of all I hope you don't let your hatred for me mask your love for him._

_Brooke_

Lucas wiped his eyes. God, had he been blind? Had he really missed out on this life, their son, all of it because he was an ass? He wanted to run to her, to tell her that he loved her too, that he had never stopped. He wanted her to know that every day he was with Peyton was for her, that he wanted her to be happy so he lived the life she wanted him to have. He folded the letter back up and placed it inside the envelope. The pain was still there. The pain in his heart, the pain from not being by her side, holding her hand when their son was born. He was angry still, as much as he loved her still, the anger and hurt, the frustration, all of it was still there. Lucas Scott wanted to be a father, he wanted to share their child and be there, together, for everything, but it would take time. He couldn't forgive and forget, not overnight. So he placed everything in the box, placed the lid on it and reached for his cell phone. He scrolled to Brooke's name. It was too late to call, so he sent a text. A simple text to the mother of his son.

Thank you, Brooke.

He took the blue box in his bedroom. He opened his closet and turned on the light. He reached to the top shelf and placed this box with another box from Brooke. A box that contained her letters to him. He shut the light off and closed the door with a slight smile on his face. Lucas Scott knew that even though he wasn't ready to forgive her yet, someday he would. Someday he would be able to look at her and their son and tell her that he loved her, that he wanted this life, with her and Keithan and another boy and a little girl just like her. Someday.

He walked into his kitchen, the floral box still sitting on the table. He picked it up and carried it with him. He looked at the time, it was nearly two in the morning, but he didn't care. He went to his car. Lucas Scott wanted to let go of the past, he wanted to let go of what might have been, what could have been. He wanted to let go of Peyton and that part of his life. Of course he would always love Peyton, but that box was nothing more than sad memories of a life that he wasn't meant to live. He found himself stopped on the bridge. He got out of his Mustang and walked to the side of the bridge, looking over into the river. He didn't even open the box, he didn't look at the contents, he didn't wonder what was in there. He held the box over the edge and with tears in his eyes he let go. He let go of that hurt and pain, that sadness and regret. Lucas Scott let go of his past, he let go of Peyton, "goodbye Peyton," he whispered as the box splashed in the water below.


	11. How forgiveness really feels

**Author's note: I own nothing. I hope you like this chapter...I'm not sure how I feel about it...read and review please.**

Brooke Davis loved being a mom. She loved her son more than anything, and loving someone so completely was fulfilling. Keithan James Scott was her world, he had been since she found out she was pregnant, he would always be her world. She rolled over as she heard his cooing sounds on the monitor. She was anxious. Last night had been amazing, spending time with Lucas, seeing him being a father to their son was so comforting to her, but scary too. She looked at the text again from Lucas with a slight smile. She had hope for the first time in a long time.

"Hey baby boy," she said walking into the nursery, she reached down to her son and placed her hand on his tummy, "you had fun with daddy last night, huh? Mommy will tell you a secret buddy, I had a good time too." The truth was she had a good time. It was the first time that she had witnessed Lucas interacting with Keithan and she was thrilled. Lucas was an amazing dad and she knew that Keithan was lucky. She took her son downstairs to get some breakfast. She was sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee while Keithan sat in his high chair playing with a few toys. This was her life now, and Brooke Davis loved every minute of it.

"Who could that be," she said as someone knocked on the door, she glanced at the clock and realized it was only a little after nine. She grabbed Keithan from his high chair and walked to her door.

"Hey," she smiled staring at the duo before her.

"Hi," she said shyly holding her son.

"I know it's early, but I was thinking maybe I could steal my grandson away for a bit," Karen smiled, "we are leaving for Charlotte this afternoon and I'd like to spend some time with him."

"Yeah," Brooke said, "come in."

"This is really nice," Karen said following Brooke into the living room.

"Thanks," she said.

"This little guy is getting so big," Karen said as Brooke handed her the baby, "look at you, looking so much like your daddy with your mamma's dimples."

"I can get his bag together," Brooke said timidly as Karen sat down.

"No, that's ok, I was actually wanting to talk to you for a minute," she said.

"Ok," Brooke said nervously. She and Karen hadn't really talked since everyone found out about Keithan being Lucas' son. She was afraid that Karen would be disappointed in her, that she would hate her. "I'm sorry," Brooke said sitting on the edge of the couch, "I'm sorry that you all missed out on three months with him."

"Honey," Karen smiled at her, "I'm not sure I understand what you were thinking, but I am a mother, and we do what we think is best for our children. You wanted to do what you thought was right, and I understand that."

"I know that you love him," she said, "that Luke loves him, I do, it's just there was so much going on, and Peyton and the baby, and I just didn't want to make things worse for him."

"You know, I think Lucas will see that. I think the two of you will be ok, Brooke. You've got this amazing little boy together, and he's what matters now."

"I know," she smiled watching Karen with the baby.

"He told me about the boxes," she said. "He's scared too, scared that the past will hurt where you guys are right now."

"I wanted him to have them," she said with a sigh. "I'm not so sure now," she laughed nervously, "I mean Peyton made that for him, so he should have it."

"And your box?"

"I always wished he was there," she said with tears in her eyes, "when I was pregnant, I always thought about him, what he would say, what he would want. I wanted the name to be something special, not just for the baby but for Lucas too. I wish I would have been strong enough to share it with him. To let him be there, to be the father that he is, because he is good at it. But I was scared, you know. I was afraid of getting hurt, of loving him again."

"Well, you're here now, Brooke," Karen said, "you and Lucas are both here. I will tell you what I told Lucas, you two have nothing to feel bad about. This little baby, he's the product of the love you two have. And maybe you think it was hurtful to Peyton, or wrong to do, but honey Lucas can't live in the past and neither can you. Peyton died, and as sad as it is, life goes on. I know," she said as she kissed Keithan's head, "I lost the man I loved, but look at me. Andy and I are happy, and I love him and we have a good life, and so does Lily. And I want Lucas to be happy too. I know that he loved Peyton, and you did too, but you and Luke had something special too. So there is no reason to ever feel bad about it, ok?"

"It's hard," Brooke said wiping her eyes.

"I know," Karen said as she held her grandson, "but look at this little guy, he is what matters. You and Lucas will figure it out, it may not seem like it now, but you will. I wish you would've told him, I wish he could've been there, that I could've been there. You've always been like a daughter to me," she said as Brooke wiped her eyes, "that's never gonna change, Brooke."

"I'm sorry," she said sadly, "I am sorry Karen, you have to know that. I was scared, and I wanted to do what was right, and I know now that what I did wasn't right for Keithan or Luke."

"Or you."

"Or me," she wiped her eyes, "but it seemed like the easier thing to do, to run. There's a selfish part of me that wants to think it was ok, but it wasn't. Lucas should have known, all of you, but I was ashamed. I mean he was Peyton's husband."

"Was, Brooke, honey, they were married and she died, so you can't let yourself ever feel bad about what happened between you and Lucas, because honey, you have this beautiful baby boy and Peyton would not want you to feel bad, I know that. She would want you to be happy and she would want Lucas to be happy, right?"

"You're right."

"Ok," Karen said wiping her own eyes, "I think we are going to go visit Deb and have some fun with Aunt Lily and Andy before grandma has to leave today," she said holding Keithan.

"I will get his bag," Brooke said as she watched Karen with her baby, she couldn't help but smile. She made her way downstairs carrying the diaper bad, "thank you by the way."

"You're welcome," Karen said unsure of what she was being thanked for.

"You and Haley with your little plan last night," Brooke smiled, "thank you. It was really nice being able to put Keithan to bed with Lucas, so thanks."

"Well, you're quite welcome," she said hugging the younger brunette, "you are both stubborn sometimes and we thought you needed a small nudge."

"Thank you, Karen, for everything," Brooke said followed her to the porch, "you've always been so kind to me, even when I don't deserve it," Brooke said as she kissed Keithan's head, "I love you buddy."

"Well, Brooke Davis, you are gonna have to get used to it, because you're never getting rid of me now," she said with a chuckle, "I will call you in a little while, maybe we can do a late lunch before we leave?"

"Yeah, that sounds great," Brooke smiled as Karen put Keithan in the car. She waved as they drove away.

* * *

"You ok," Brooke asked as Lucas walked back inside his house. They had eaten an early dinner with Karen, Andy and Lily before they headed back to Charlotte. It has been a nice evening spent in Lucas' house, a house that had been a home to each of them at some point in the last few years.

"Yeah," he said closing the door, "I know Charlotte isn't far, but I miss them, every time they go back, I wish they could stay," he laughed, "sad huh? I'm twenty five and miss my mom."

"It's not sad," Brooke smiled as she finished packing Keithan's bag. The baby was sleeping in the crib Lucas had set up in his bedroom, "I hope Keithan loves me that much when he's twenty five."

"He will, you're a good mom," he said sitting on the couch beside her.

"Thanks," she said as she zipped the bag and sat it on the coffee table, "we should probably get going home, I've got a lot on my plate this week with Millie on her honeymoon."

"You could stay for a while, we could talk," he said. He wanted to talk, he wanted to ask her questions about the pregnancy, about the first three months of their sons life. He wanted to know everything.

"Luke," she sighed. At this moment she regretted giving him her box.

"It's fine, I just thought maybe we could talk about Keithan," he paused, "when you were pregnant and the stuff that is in that box."

"Ok," she said, defeated. She couldn't tell him no, no matter how afraid she was, he had the right to know about things. "Well, I was huge," she laughed.

"I doubt that," he smiled, thinking of the pictures he had looked at last night, "you were probably beautiful."

"I doubt it," she said shyly.

"You're always beautiful," he said causing her to blush slightly."What was he like when he was born," Lucas asked with a smile.

"Tiny," she smiled, "he was this beautiful, amazing tiny baby. He was so good, he didn't cry a lot," she said, "unless he was hungry. He was like that even at the hospital."

"I forgive you," he said quietly. Watching her talk about their son, hearing how she spoke about him, it made him realize how much he missed her.

"Lucas," she said, tears in her eyes, "you can't, you can't just say that, what I did was too much."

"Hey," he said, "I forgive you, so you're gonna have to deal with it," he said as she wiped her eyes, "I may not agree with the choices that you made, but you did what you thought was right, Brooke, and I may be hurt still, and sad, but I forgive you."

"You can't," she said, "I can't even forgive myself, Luke, so you can't just forgive me."

"I can," he said, "and I do, Brooke, I forgive you. We've hurt each other too much, we have a son together, Brooke, a wonderful baby boy that needs us, both of us. So I forgive you," he said as he wiped her cheek, "and you're going to have to forgive yourself too someday."

"Thank you," she said as he wrapped his arms around her, "Lucas, thank you so much, for our son, for everything," she said as he kissed the top of her head. Brooke smiled slightly as she rested her head against Lucas' chest, "this is what forgiveness feels like."

"I think so."

"Thank you Lucas Scott," she said as she pulled away from him wiping her eyes.

"You're welcome Brooke Davis."


	12. Choices

**Author's note: I own nothing. Please read and review…hope you enjoy. **

"It is my company. I do not have time for this, mother," Brooke said as she sat at her desk in her store. Victoria had been trying all week to get her to come back to L.A. With Millicent still on her honeymoon Brooke was at her wits end with her mother. She sighed, "I will call you later," she said as she hung the phone up.

"Hey."

"Hey," she smiled.

"So how are you doing on this beautiful Friday afternoon," Haley asked as she sat down across from her friend.

"I am," she sighed, "ready for Millie to be back, ready for a vacation away with my baby, ready to sign the whole damn thing over to her."

"Wow, this week has been that good, huh," Haley smiled.

"It's hard, being here, it's a lot different than when I was there, you know," she said, "the business was easier for me in L.A."

"Don't say that," Haley sighed, "Brooke you can make this work, I mean you've been here over two months and it's been ok."

"It hasn't Haley."

"Hey," she said as Brooke wiped her eyes, "talk to me tigger."

"Victoria has been going to the board and she thinks they can get an L.A. designer who can do more, and she's pushing me to come back to L.A., back to Julian, I just can't deal with all of it," she said as Haley hugged her.

"Do you want to go back," Haley asked.

"Honestly," she said, "I'm not sure. I mean I love it here, you guys are here, Luke is here. I can't even think about what it would do to him if we left."

"What it would do to Keithan," Haley said, "or you."

"I'm afraid, you know. I want my company to be successful, I want to keep doing what I've been doing running it, designing. I love it, it's who I am, Hales, it's who I've been for a long time."

"But the company, honey, that's not what makes you who you are. You have this amazing little boy, Brooke, and you have us, all of us, including Lucas. I know it's not L.A. but it's home."

"And what do I do if she takes it from me, my company? She can," she wiped her eyes. "Victoria wants my company, you know it is funny, when she talks about me coming back, it's not about how much she misses me or Keithan, it's about the job, the company, or about how miserable Julian is. I just feel trapped."

"Do you still love Julian?"

"Yeah," she whispered, "I do love him. Things happened, you know, I mean we were engaged and we were going to have this life together, but that day in the cemetery, I saw Luke and I got wrapped up in our past. Julian tried, he did, and I know you guys see it differently, but Julian is a good guy, Hales, and he loved me, he chose me."

"Did you choose him?"

"What do you mean?"

"Brooke, you're here. You brought Keithan and you're here. I'm not saying that you don't care for him, but you came here, Brooke, you left him behind and came here."

"But, what if it was wrong," she sighed, "what if I made a mistake?"

"I know you don't think telling Lucas about his son was a mistake, Brooke. You know that you did the right thing. And this last week, seeing the two of you with your son, Brooke that is amazing. I know you and Luke have this complicated history, and I am not saying that you two should be together, or even try that, but Brooke you know that this," Haley said, "this is not wrong."

"Julian loves him, Keithan was important to him, and then I pulled away, and things got awkward and strained, you know. Julian wanted to be his dad," she said and Haley had a look of pure horror on her face, "I couldn't do that. I wouldn't, as much as I wanted this life with Julian, it would have been a lie and it would have been unfair to Keithan. So I pulled away, I wouldn't let Julian be with Keithan unless I was there. I wouldn't share him, you know, I couldn't let Julian be that guy, because I knew it wasn't fair to Lucas. And the worst part is that Julian is the one who wanted me to tell Luke in the beginning, he was the one who tried to convince me to tell Luke. And he stood by me, he helped me through all of it and then I cut him out just like that. I didn't want to do that to Keithan, I didn't want him to grow up thinking Julian was his dad, it would have been unfair to Julian and Keithan."

"And Lucas," Haley said as she wiped her eyes. The thought of Brooke's heart being torn in to a million pieces hurt her, Brooke was her best friend, but so was Lucas. Just hearing the words made her feel like she had betrayed him, that she had hurt Lucas. "I can't tell you what is right or wrong, but I know Lucas, he's been my best friend for as long as I can remember, Brooke, and he loves that baby more than anything. I know you've seen it in this last week. I mean how could you not? They way Luke is with him, the way he talks about him, he loves him."

"I know."

"I want you to stay," she smiled, "the selfish part of me, I want my best friend here, my nephew here. I want us to go shopping with our kids, and I want Grace and Jamie to grow up with Keithan, I want to take them to the river court and watch them play, but I get it. I know the impossible choice you face. I mean I was seventeen, I was younger, I wasn't a mom, but I was a wife. I mean that choice to go on tour with Chris was hard. But, I knew that it's what I wanted, what I needed. I didn't think about what it would do to Nathan or our relationship. So I get it," Haley said. "If you love Julian, and if you want that life in L.A. Brooke I will support you, because I love you and because you are my best friend and I want you to be happy."

"I love you too tutor mom," Brooke said with a smile.

"Ok," Haley said wiping her eyes, "so you've got a choice to make Brooke Davis."

"I don't know about that," Brooke sighed. "Julian was hurt when I left, we both said things, and I am not sure he will be able to forgive me, and then I think about Luke, what it would do to him if I take Keithan back to L.A. and I just don't know what to do. I want my company, and I do miss Julian."

"Maybe you've already made your choice," Haley said as she hugged Brooke, "just know that we don't want to lose you or Keithan, and that includes Lucas. I know he may not be ready to tell you, but I see it, so does Nathan. So remember that ok, tigger."

"I will," she said wiping her eyes, "thanks Haley James Scott, you're a pretty awesome friend."

"You too."

* * *

Lucas was carrying Keithan to the front door of Brooke's house. It was Saturday morning and Brooke had let him keep Keithan overnight. Usually she had Keithan at night and Lucas had him during the days, but she told him to keep him for the night, and he was grateful. This last week had been awesome for him. He had been able to spend time with his son, and with Brooke. Of course they weren't as close as they had been once, but they could at least talk, they could laugh and they could share their son. Keithan was cooing as Lucas knocked on the door quietly.

"Hey."

"Hey," Lucas said angrily, "where is Brooke?"

"She's in the shower," he smiled, "she told me you would be bringing Keithan home."

"I'll wait," Lucas said as he stood there.

"Luke, man I'm sorry about that whole thing in L.A. that night," Julian said as Lucas walked past him.

"It's done," Lucas said as he sat the diaper bag down on the table, he sat on the chair in the living room holding his son.

"I can take him so you can go," Julian said trying to get a glimpse of the child that he wished was his own.

"I've got him," Lucas said bitterly.

"Ok," Julian said as he sat on the couch. "She didn't know I was coming, I just needed to see her so I showed up, Victoria gave me the address."

"What you do doesn't matter to me Julian."

"I love her," he said, waiting for a response. "I want to be with her, that's what I plan on doing," he said sensing Lucas' frustration, "I just thought you should know."

"Brooke's an adult," he said as he kissed Keithan's head, "but I'm always gonna be in my sons life, I'm his father."

"I want them to come back to L.A. with me. I want us to get married like we planned, to have the life we wanted."

"Julian, Luke should be here," Brooke was saying as she walked downstairs, she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw him.

"Surprise," Julian said.

"Hey," she said nervously, "I didn't know you'd be here yet."

"That's obvious," Lucas said as she walked towards him.

"I can take him," she said reaching for Keithan, "so you can go."

"Ok," he said, he kissed Keithan's head then she took the baby. He stood up and walked towards the door.

"Luke," she called as she turned towards him. He stopped, he didn't turn around, but he stopped. "Can you wait a second," she said as she handed Keithan to Julian. "Can we talk?"

"I gotta go," he said as he walked out on the porch, she followed closing the door behind her.

"Hey, I didn't know he was coming, he just showed up last night," she said, "I had no idea."

"Well I guess I owe him for you allowing me to keep my son overnight," he laughed.

" I'm sorry, I know that you're angry with Julian, but Lucas, it was my decision, keeping Keithan away, not telling you. So don't be mad at Julian for that."

"Brooke," he sighed, "I don't care about Julian, I don't care about what the past was, all I care about is Keithan. So, I hope that he's lying when he tells me that you are going to go back to L.A. with him, because I can't let you take my son away. I won't."

"Lucas, it's not like that, ok. My life has been in L.A. and it's not like you wouldn't see Keithan, ok, we could work it out. We could make this work," she said as he started walking away.

"You can't be serious, you won't take him, you will not take my son and raise him with Julian, it's not going to happen."

"He's my son," she said bitterly as Lucas opened the door to his car, "Lucas we need to talk about this."

"No we don't Brooke," he said shaking his head, "you need to make a choice. You choose to go to L.A. or to stay here, but either way, Keithan will not go, that I promise you. You make your choice."

"You ok," Julian asked as he walked out on the porch as Lucas drove away.

"I don't know," she said as Julian wrapped his arms around her.

"It's going to be ok," he said kissing the top of her head, "I promise."

"It's not. This is not ok, Julian, so don't try to make it ok. It's not ok," she said wiping her eyes. "This isn't just my choice, not anymore."

"Brooke, you're Keithan's mother, it is your choice."

"Luke is his dad," she sighed, "it's our choice, our decision to make. Lucas has a right to be in Keithan's life, and I can't just take it away, not again."

"Do you love him," Julian asked.

"What," she asked shocked.

"Better question," he said bitterly, "do you love me Brooke Davis?"

"Julian you know that I do," she sighed.

"Then make the choice, prove it, bring Keithan and come home with me."


	13. What hurts the most

**Author's note: I own nothing. Please read and review…hope you enjoy. **

Nathan Scott hadn't always been compassionate. Some would say Nathan Scott used to be anything but, things change, people grow up. Nathan Scott had done just that, he had become a good man, a good father, a good friend, and fortunately for Lucas, a great brother.

"How you holding up," Nathan asked as he walked on the river court where his brother was standing with a basketball.

"Great," Lucas answered sarcastically.

"Luke, talk to me," Nathan said as he sat on the bleachers, "Haley told me Brooke went to L.A. a couple days ago, I know that's gotta hurt."

"She brings him into my life and bam," Lucas said slapping his hand against the tattered ball, "she takes him away. He's my son, Nathan, my son."

"Have you talked to her," Nathan asked, "I mean when are they coming back?"

"I didn't talk to her, I don't want to," he said sitting beside his brother. "She left me a couple messages, she said they would be back in a couple days, but that was Sunday and it's Tuesday, so who knows."

"All I'm saying is talk to her, Brooke's not the same girl she used to be." That was one thing Nathan knew to be true. He and Brooke had grown up in the same circle of friends, the same type of dysfunctional families. He knew she had changed. He owed his transformation to his wife and brother, and the funny thing was, he was sure Brooke owed hers to the very same duo.

"I don't know who she is."

"She is the mother of your child, Luke, you can't just ignore her," Nathan said, "I mean when me and Haley went through that whole Carrie mess, that's what we did wrong, we didn't talk."

"You were married, you are married," he sighed, "Brooke and I had sex, Nate, she got pregnant, that's it."

"Do you hear yourself? Really, Lucas, is that how you sum up the son you share? You and Brooke, man, you two have history, yeah really screwed up history, but history. You didn't just meet some random chick and knock her up, it's Brooke. It's always been Brooke."

"When I found out from Julian," he laughed, "Julian Baker is the one who tells me I have a kid, I am so pissed. And Nathan I tried to get past it, I did, I forgave her. I forgave her for keeping my son away from me and my family for three months, Nate, I forgave her. I'm done forgiving her, I'm done with her."

"What are pissed at, Luke, what she did or that you forgave her and she left? I mean I don't get it. You're always hiding from your heart."

"Really, this again? My heart is fine," Lucas said, "the only thing wrong with my heart is that I haven't seen my son since Saturday."

"Lucas, until you admit what the real issue is, until you talk to her, you're never gonna let go of this anger."

"That's the thing, I don't know that I want to. I mean I will not let her take Keithan clear across the country and raise him with Julian," he yelled, "I'm not Dan, I'm not gonna let someone else raise my son. I will do whatever I have to, to make sure that doesn't happen."

"What does that mean Lucas? The thing you need to do is talk to Brooke, tell her what you feel, man. I'm no relationship expert, but I can tell you're not just mad, Luke, you're hurt too. So, you've gotta figure this out."

"I know what I need to do," Lucas said confidently. "I know exactly what I need to do."

* * *

Brooke Davis had been back in L.A. for two days. Two days ago she packed a bag and boarded a plane with her son. Brooke's life had changed a lot in the last few months, and even more so in the last two days. She was sitting in her office in the companies Los Angeles headquarters. Keithan was in a small playpen near the windows. Brooke knew what she wanted.

"You wanted to see me," Victoria asked walking in.

"It's nice to see you had time for me this morning mother," Brooke said bitterly.

"Well, I'm glad you finally came to your senses and that you're back here where you belong."

"Where I belong?"

"Brooke, I have worked too hard to build this company for you to destroy it by playing house in Tree Hill with some boy who doesn't even care about you."

"Playing house, really mother," Brooke asked frustrated.

"What do you call it? The smartest thing you did was leave that whole in the wall with Julian, and I for one am thankful for him. Julian can help us take this company and magazine to a much higher level."

"Julian makes movies," she sighed.

"Yes, but Julian Baker is the flavor of the moment in Hollywood, dear. Every guy wants to be him and every woman wants to be with him, so you see the press you get being engaged to him, having a child with him."

"We do not have a child together mother."

"Well, that's a mere technicality that the press doesn't need to know."

"Are you serious? Julian is not Keithan's father, and I'm sorry, but I will not play along with this little media stunt of yours. Lucas is his father," Brooke said firmly, "not Julian."

"Like I said," Victoria huffed, "technicality. And if I remember correctly you had no issue with the world thinking my grandson was Julian's son."

"You know last week was the first time I actually witnessed my son with his father, I actually watched Lucas with Keithan, saw how much he loves him," she shook her head, "somewhere along the way in this last year I have lost sight of what matters in this world, what I want for my son and myself. I have focused so much time and energy on the material things, on trying to build this phony life, I've realized that I am turning into you."

"What do you want me to say Brooke? That I failed you as a mother? That I caused you not to have a relationship with your father? Look around you dear," Victoria said coldly, "you've got everything you've ever wanted."

"Not everything."

"When I was your age, I dreamed of having a clothing line, of having a business, of all the things you have. But I stupidly fell in love. And one morning, your father and I got a little surprise. I told him I didn't want kids. It was never the plan. But he wanted a son more than anything. And as soon as I got fat, he had an excuse to jump into any bed he wanted. And when we had our little baby girl, I made sure I would never be pregnant again. If I couldn't have my dream, your father couldn't have his, either."

"Well congratulations mother," Brooke said as she placed a file folder on her desk, "you got your dream."

"What is this," Victoria asked picking the folder up.

"You now have a company, but no daughter, and sure as hell no grandson," Brooke said as she started gathering her things, Victoria was looking through the documents in the file. Brooke picked her son up, "it's all there, I signed over my shares, you can have it. It's not worth my son's happiness or my heart. I'm done with Clothes Over Bros."

"Brooke," Victoria said shaking her head, "don't be childish. This is ridiculous. You're my daughter and he's my grandson."

"Not anymore. Goodbye Victoria," Brooke said walking out of the office.

* * *

Brooke Davis was nervous. She was scared. The choices she had made in her life weren't always thought out, they weren't always what was best. She tended to make the choices that left her feeling protected, safe. This time however she'd gone out on a limb. She'd decided that the choices she made now had to be for her and Keithan. Of course not everyone would understand her choices, but she could live with that. She knew what she wanted in her life. So here she was. Standing on his porch, knocking on his door at nine o'clock on a Tuesday night.

"Hey," he said as he opened the door.

"Hi," she whispered. She felt her race a little, she was nervous.

"What are you doing here?"

"I thought maybe we could talk," she said nervously, "Keithan is with Haley, and I thought we could talk."

"About what Brooke," he asked, "you taking him to L.A.? You pretending that Julian is his father? I don't really have time for this."

"Luke, please," she said.

"Hey, who is it," she heard the voice coming from inside the house.

"Kenzie," she said as she saw the blonde appear beside Lucas.

"Brooke," she said as she looked at the brunette.

"So, I guess," Brooke stammered unsure of what she was actually seeing.

"I'll be inside," Kenzie said.

"Ok," Brooke sighed as she watched the blonde walk away.

"Look I'm busy, Brooke," he said angrily.

"Are you two," she hesitated, not wanting to actually ask the question, knowing that the answer was not what she wanted to hear, "Lucas are you…"

"With her? Yeah, is that what you want to hear," he asked, "I don't have time for this, Brooke. When you want to let me see my son call me," Lucas said, then shut the door. She stood there stunned. Tears were streaming her face as she made her way to her car.

* * *

"Are you coming in," Nathan asked as he walked out on his front porch.

"Yeah," she said wiping her eyes, "give me a minute."

"Brooke," he said sitting beside her, "you've been out here for a while."

"I know," she sighed.

"What happened," Nathan asked.

"Kenzie was there," she said, Nathan sighed. He knew Luke was hurt, but that seemed pretty low. "He is angry because I went to L.A.," she forced a laugh.

"Did you tell him why, I mean that you went and signed your company a way."

"No," she said, "he closed the door in my face, said that when I wanted to let him see Keithan that I should call. God, Nathan, why does everything have to be so screwed up?"

"It's a Tree Hill thing I think," he said putting an arm around her.

"Did I make a mistake," she asked, "I just gave away the one thing that mattered to me in this world besides my son, and for what? Luke won't even talk to me, and he's with Kenzie, Nate."

"Did you do it for him," Nathan asked, she didn't answer, "I mean did you sign away your company for Lucas, Brooke?"

"No," she said with a shrug, "I don't think so. I don't know, you know, in my mind it was for Keithan and me, so that we could get free from that life, but I think part of it was for him. I mean, if he wasn't here, if he wasn't Keithan's dad, we would've stayed there. My life was there, my company, Julian, all of it."

"Do you regret coming here, letting Lucas know about Keithan?"

"Leaving Julian behind, uprooting my life," she shrugged, "I don't know. Honestly, I don't know."

"You two ok," Haley asked walking outside carrying the baby monitor.

"Yeah," Nathan said as Haley sat beside him, "we are," he kissed Haley's head as he stood up and grabbed the monitor from her. "I am gonna leave you two alone."

"You really ok," Haley asked as she scooted closer to Brooke. She nodded, they both knew the truth, "Brooke, I had no clue about Kenzie, if I had I would've said something, you know."

"I know," Brooke said quietly, "thanks, by the way, for taking care of Keithan."

"Hey, he's my nephew, it's no problem."

"What do I do," Brooke asked, "I have nothing left now, I gave Victoria all of it."

"Hey, you have your son, Brooke, and you have all of us. That company didn't make you who you are," Haley said as she wrapped an arm around her, "you are a great mom, you're a great friend, Brooke, and you're going to be ok."

"I thought we were ok, Luke and I were actually talking and spending time with Keithan together, but that's done. He's so pissed, and he's with Kenzie, Haley," Brooke said.

"I don't know about that," Haley said. "Lucas is hurt, Brooke, you are both so stubborn sometimes. He is afraid of losing Keithan, and I get that, I mean what was he going to think when Julian shows up and you run of to L.A. with him."

"That's not how it was," Brooke said defensively.

"I know that, and you know that," Haley said, "but does Luke know that?"

"He wouldn't talk to me Hales, I mean that morning when he brought Keithan home and Julian was there, god he was mad. And I wanted to try and talk to him, but he wouldn't let me."

"Well, maybe you gotta try harder. I mean, things worth having in your life never come easy."

"The worst part," Brooke sighed, "is that I wanted to punch her in the face. She comes to the door all sweet and innocent, I can't stand her."

"Wow," Haley laughed a little, "looks like you and Jamie are on the same team, he's not fond of Kenzie either." Brooke smiled at that. They sat quietly for a couple of minutes. "You still love him don't you?"

"Yeah, I do," Brooke whispered, she sighed as she leaned against her best friend, "and that's hurts the most."


	14. Jealous

**Author's note: I own nothing. Please read and review. Thanks for all of the great reviews, it is appreciated. This chapter picks three days after the last chapter ended... **

Lucas Scott was back to writing. He had been inspired lately. Lucas owed his recent inspiration to having his son in his life, at least that's what he believed it was. It had been two days since Brooke had come over and found Kenzie at his house. He wanted to see his son, and if he was honest with himself, he wanted to see Brooke. But, Lucas Scott wasn't being honest with himself. Instead he was living inside the walls he put up.

He was packing for a trip to New York. He and Lindsey were working on the new book. She was impressed by it, by the honesty she felt in his writing now. She hadn't seen him this motivated in a long time, and she thought it might be due to his child. Lucas Scott loved his son. That was never in doubt from the moment he laid eyes on that little boy, even before he knew Keithan was his son he loved him. That little boy stole his heart away, much like his mother had done years before.

"Hey," he said as he opened the door.

"Hey," she said standing there holding their son, "Haley told me you were going to New York tonight, I just thought maybe you'd want to see him before you left."

"Hey buddy," he said taking his son from Brooke's arms, "daddy missed you so much."

"How long are you gonna be gone for," she asked, trying to ease the tension as she closed the door behind her.

"I'll be back Monday afternoon," he said.

"Luke, I wanted to talk to you," she said as they sat down on the couch, "I know you're mad at me, but I don't want it to hurt Keithan."

"I'm not mad, Brooke," he said. The truth was the anger wasn't really the emotion he would tie to his feelings. Hurt, yes, fear, definitely, but not anger. But he wouldn't tell her.

"Ok," she said defeated. "I'm not going anywhere," she said, watching the father and son, "we're not going anywhere, I just need you to know that. I signed over the company, the magazine, all of it to my mother."

"Why," he asked, knowing how much that company meant to her, how hard she had worked to get everything she wanted.

"The company used to be everything in my life, but not now. Keithan is my world and I need to do what is best for him." She wasn't lying, her son was her world, and she knew being in Tree Hill was what was best for him. "It's funny," she said with a slight chuckle, "I guess I owe you for both of them."

"Me," he asked.

"I started the company after we broke up," she sighed, "trying to mend my broken heart as Haley puts it. After that night in New York I expanded with my mom, and after you married Peyton we expanded to the west coast," she said watching Lucas with their son, "and we both know where babies come from."

"Yeah," he smiled, "Keith took care of that a long time ago." They both sat in silence watching Keithan with his toy, "I can't believe how big you've gotten in just a few days, I missed you so much," he said in baby talk to the child in his lap.

"I was never going to keep him from you, Luke, you have to know that. I mean, yeah I contemplated moving back to L.A. for the business," she said, "but it was never about keeping Keithan from you. Julian and I haven't been together in a while, I mean even before I came here, so when he showed up I was caught off guard and with Victoria threatening to take the company, it was just a lot, and I needed to go there to handle it." He nodded, still not looking at her, "I just want him to be happy, you know."

"Yeah," he said.

"I am gonna head home," she said, "if you want to bring him by before you leave or something."

"Yeah," he said finally looking at her, "my flight leaves in a few hours, so I can bring him by before I go."

"Ok," she said as she kissed Keithan, "I love you buddy."

"Brooke," he said as she started to walk towards the door.

"Yeah," she said turning towards Lucas and their son.

"Thank you," he said, she smiled and nodded with a slight wave she left Lucas alone with his son.

* * *

Brooke Davis was sketching. She loved sketching, she found it therapeutic to a degree. She wasn't sure what her life would entail now that she didn't have her company. She had the papers drawn up so that the store in Tree Hill would be liquidated, but she would still retain ownership of the building. She could not imagine handing over that space to Victoria. She wasn't sure what she would do with it, but seeing Victoria own something that meant that much to Karen and Lucas would have been horrible for her.

"What are ya working on," Millie asked as she walked in the living room of her friend's home.

"Sketching," Brooke smiled. "It's weird, not having the company, I know it's only been a few days, but it feels different."

"Well, now that we have all this free time what are we gonna do with ourselves," Millie asked sitting beside Brooke.

"I don't know," she sighed, "I've never thought about my life without Clothes Over Bro's, it's always been there."

"Well, I think you did the right thing," Millie smiled, "now you have more time for your baby and less interaction with your mother."

"True, I knew there was a reason I kept you around," Brooke smiled, "you're a great assistant Millicent McFadden, but you're an even better friend."

"Well, you're not so bad either."

"So where is my little buddy at tonight," Millie asked.

"With Luke," she said, "he hasn't seen him since last week and he's going to New York tonight so I wanted to let him have Keithan for a little while." The truth was, she did want Lucas and Keithan to spend time together, but there was a part of her that wished she was with them too. That the three of them could build something together. But, for now she was ok knowing that her son was bonding with his father.

"Well, how is that going?"

"Fine, I guess," she sighed, "Kenzie wasn't there if that's what you mean, just the thought of her spending time with my son gets to me, I would love to slap that fake ass smile off her face. I don't like her."

"Brooke, you don't know her," Millie chuckled.

"Well, I know enough, the way her fake blonde ass talked to me," she said, "I don't even know how he can stand her."

"Jealousy," Millie laughed.

"I am not jealous," Brooke said.

"Ok, if that's what you're telling yourself," she said. "Brooke, I have known you for too long to believe that you aren't jealous. I'm not sure if you're jealous that she's spending time with your son, or with Lucas, or with them together, but you are most definitely jealous my friend."

"I am not jealous, I just don't like her spending time with him."

"Him being Keithan," Millie smiled, "or him being Lucas?"

"I so hate you right now," Brooke said playfully. The truth was she hated that Kenzie was in Lucas' life at all. She knew she had no right to be jealous, she had broken up with him all those years ago. She pushed him away.

"I love you too," Millie said.

* * *

"You ready yet," Haley asked as she walked in to Lucas' house.

"Hey," he smiled at her as he was sitting his luggage down by the door, "I thought Nate was taking me to the airport?"

"Well, he was going to, but we haven't talked for a while," she said hugging him, "and I just wanted to make sure we are ok Luke."

"We're good Hales," he said as they heard Keithan fussing in the bedroom.

"Is that my nephew," she asked with a smile, he nodded.

"Brooke brought him by earlier, she said you told her about the trip to New York," he said following her to the bedroom, "thanks for that. I've missed him so much."

"Me too," Haley said holding the baby. "So did the two of you talk?"

"Not really," he sighed as he watched Haley holding his son, "she told me about signing the company over to her mom, but I don't know what to say to her, Haley."

"She didn't tell you," Haley asked.

"Tell me what?"

"I don't know Luke," Haley chuckled, Lucas shook his head, "And why is Kenzie not taking you to the airport tonight, isn't that something a girlfriend does?"

"Well, since she's not my girlfriend," he smirked.

"But you told Brooke," Haley said slightly irritated.

"I wanted to make her mad, ok. I was pissed, she just shows up at my house wanting to talk after running off with my son and Julian," he said, "Kenzie was there picking up some stuff. And what did she not tell me anyway?"

"What," she asked.

"Hales, come on, you said there was something she didn't tell me, I'm listening."

"It's not my story to tell Lucas, and you're a real ass sometimes you know that?"

"I'm an ass, yes, because I kept my son from his father for three months, pretended Julian was his father, then ran back to L.A. with Julian, yep, that was me. What makes me an ass in all of this? I wasn't the one who did this."

"No, Luke, you're an ass because you tried to what, make her jealous or hurt her by lying about being with Kenzie," she said, "and are you that blind? Luke, she came to tell you about signing the company away that night, and that she still," she stammered, with a huff, "why do you think Keithan was with me and your brother. She was a mess," Haley said shaking her head, "Luke she was a mess, she needed you and you were mean to her."

"I was mean, wow," he said glancing at his watch, "we gotta get going because I don't want to argue with you, and I need to drop my son off at Brooke's."

"Ok," she said, "if you promise me that you'll be nice to her, Lucas, promise me please."

"Fine," he said, "I will try. I'm sorry."

"Well, it's not really me you should apologize to," Haley said with a sigh.

* * *

Lucas was carrying Keithan to the door when Brooke opened it. She smiled and waved as she saw Haley waiting in the car parked in her driveway. She took the diaper bag from Lucas as he was whispering to their son.

"Hey buddy, mamma missed you," she said as Lucas handed her the baby.

"Well," he said as he shoved his hands in his pockets nervously, "I will be back on Monday, so maybe I can see him Tuesday?"

"Luke, you can see him whenever you want, I mean that," she said with a slight smile.

"Ok, well I'll call you then," he said as he turned to walk away.

"Ok," she said as she turned towards her door.

"Brooke," he said as he caught a glimpse of Haley sitting in the car, remembering the promise he made to his best friend, he turned towards the mother of his son.

"Yeah," she said from the doorway.

"The other night," he said, "when you came by, I was an ass, and I wanted to say I'm sorry."

"It's fine, I should've called first," she smiled.

"No," he said shyly, "it's not like that, I mean Kenzie was just there picking some stuff up, and I was mad, and I just said something that I thought might…"

"It's fine Luke, we've both screwed up, right," she smiled, her smile still melted his heart. She started to walk inside, "I'll see ya later."

"Hey," he said causing her to turn back around, Keithan still in her arms, "can I ask you something," she nodded, "well, I was just wondering why you went to L.A. the other day, and now you're back, and Julian.."

"Is still in L.A.?"

"Yeah," he smiled.

"It's over between us, it has been for a long time. I have realized in these last couple of months that I wasn't doing what was right for Keithan, or me, so I went to finish everything with the company and with Julian."

"What do you mean," he asked confused.

"I'm done with the company, with Julian, all of it, Keithan and I are here for good. This is home, it's where we belong."

"That's good," he said as he walked towards them, "Brooke I didn't know, I mean I thought…"

"Hey, it's fine, it was just a company," she smiled, "and a guy who wasn't the one for me."

"That was your company, I mean you worked hard for it…"

"I did, but I have realized that what I want in my life is right here in Tree Hill," she said kissing the top of her son's head, "it always has been."

"I gotta go," he said with a smile, he kissed Keithan's head, "maybe when I get back we can talk, me and you."

"Yeah," she smiled, "I'd like that Luke."

"Me too," he said walking towards the car.

"Daddy will be home soon," Brooke said to her son as she waved to Haley.


	15. What comes next

**Author's note: I own nothing. Please read and review…hope you enjoy. **

"How are you doing," Nathan asked as he walked in to Brooke's store.

"Great," she said sarcastically, "I am standing in the middle of an empty store with no clue what I'm doing, I signed away the company that I built and I am technically unemployed at the moment, so yeah, I'm great."

"Do you regret it," he asked, "walking away from the company?"

"Honestly," she said, "no. I mean, last time, when Victoria tried to take it from me, you know it was different, I was angry and hurt, bitter. This time, it's what I want, it's my choice to leave the company, to walk away."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Nathan sighed.

"What's going on Nate?"

"I'm thinking about retiring."

"What," she asked shocked.

"I don't know," he said, "I mean there is so much more to life than the game. I have a family, you know, and my back, I knew it wouldn't be forever. The doctors are concerned now, and I don't want to worry Haley."

"You should talk to her Nathan."

"I did. She's afraid, worried that I will go back to how I was after the accident," he said, "but this time it's different. This time, I'm leaving the game. I'm deciding, the game isn't being taken from me. I mean my brother has a kid, I have two," he smiled at her, "I want to be here for everything, I mean I didn't even know Jamie liked baseball until Clay told me. What kind of dad am I?"

"You're the best kind, Nathan," she said sincerely, "you love those kids and Haley so much, and they are lucky to have you, we all are."

"I just think now is the time, I mean I got my dream, I played in the NBA, won a championship."

"Finals MVP."

"Yeah," he said with a laugh, "I did it, and now I just want the normal, simple life with my wife and kids, being an uncle to my nephew, being a brother."

"Well, I get it. I know that it's scary, you know, wondering what's it's going to be like when I get up every day and don't have the company to run, but I look at my son and know that it's what I want. As much as I wanted the company and all that came with it, I want this life with Keithan and," she hesitated causing Nathan to smile, "I want this life with my son just as much as I wanted that life. I want to be that mom that goes to the little league games and school plays, I want to do all of it, every thing my parents didn't do."

"I know what you mean. Dan was always so hard on me, everything was all basketball, and I just don't want that for Jamie or Grace. I don't want them to think they're not enough for me, that I am not proud of everything they do. I want to be here for all that they do. My mom was always working, traveling for different charities when I was little, then when we were teenagers, well she was addicted to pills and alcohol, tried to kill my dad, slept with my uncle," he chuckled, "you know, the usual things moms do. They weren't there for me, and I don't want to be that to my kids, to my wife, to Luke, to you and Keithan. I mean I travel so much that I missed Jamie's talent show this year and his games, Grace started walking while I was in Phoenix. It's hard being across the country and hearing about everything on a quick phone call before the game."

"So what comes next?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure we'll figure it out," he smiled, "I'm sure we'll both be fine."

"We have some real high class problems don't we," she asked jokingly.

"We are complaining about things that most people want. I am twenty five and I have lived my dream, now I'm ready to live my life."

"I guess it's the same for me, I mean I never thought about how kids would fit into my life. I mean yeah, I took care of Angie, and Sam, but after that it just all got away from me and I never considered it. Then when I got pregnant, I was scared, but I never doubted that the baby could fit in my life, that I could make my life fit the baby. But, now I realize, I don't want to have to fit one with the other, I want to have the life with my son, here in Tree Hill."

"So," Nathan said, "speaking of life here in Tree Hill, how are you and Luke?"

"Fine," she sighed.

"Better question," he said with a smile, "how's your heart?"

"My heart," she sighed, "is fine. I have my son, and my friends, my heart is fine Nate."

"Brooke, you always want everyone to think you're fine, but I know you, I've been that way to Brooke. Until you tell him what is in your heart your heart is always going to be flawed."

"So I am flawed, really?"

"You know what I mean," he said nudging her slightly, "Brooke you've got to talk to him. He comes back tonight, I am picking him up, Haley's cooking, maybe you and Keithan should come by too, make it a family deal. Plus, I gotta share my news with everyone."

"You're really gonna do it?"

"Yeah, I think it's time," he said walking towards the door, "promise me something, well two things."

"What's that?"

"Don't say anything about my retirement, no one knows yet, and I want to tell everyone together," she nodded, "and promise me that you'll talk to him, Brooke. Come by tonight, plus I might need witnesses so my wife doesn't kill me."

"We'll be there," she smiled, she sighed, "thanks Nathan."

"You're welcome Davis," he said with a smile as he left her empty store.

* * *

Lucas was sitting in Lindsey's office waiting on her. She was running late this morning. Her assistant said that her daughter, Avery, had been sick, but that she would be in shortly. Lucas smiled thinking about how Lindsey had ended up. She had met a producer who worked on one of those daytime dramas in New York and fallen in love. They had been married for almost two years and their daughter Avery was a little over a year old now. She was amazing, and he knew that this was the life Lindsey was made for.

"Hey stranger," she said walking in, he stood up to greet her.

"Hey, Linds," he said as they hugged, "Melanie told me Avery had been sick, if we need to reschedule we can."

"Don't be silly," she said as she sat her things down, "she's with Robert. And I already missed our Friday meeting. So about this book."

"Well," he sighed, "I'm not quite finished. It's pretty close."

"Well, I think it's amazing Luke, I really do."

"Thanks," he smiled. He was happy that she had remained his editor, happy that they had forged this friendship. He never would have imagined it being this easy, but he was glad it was.

"So," she said, "out of curiosity, where is all this inspiration from suddenly?"

"I don't know, I think most of it is from having Keithan in my life," he smiled, "he's amazing."

"How are things going with Brooke?"

"Brooke," he sighed, running his hands through his hair, "she's his mother, you know, so she's there. I don't really know, I mean Kenzie and I broke up."

"Can I say something, and you won't be mad," she asked, he nodded, "that does not surprise me Luke. Kenzie was so not you. I know that I am your editor and it's not my place…"

"You're not just my editor Lindsey," he said, "and I know. I mean she was a distraction from all the brooding and everything, but I never expected much from it. Is that bad?"

"Well, from a woman's perspective, yes," she chuckled, "especially if she thought it was more, but I somehow doubt she was looking for more."

"Ok," he said with a slight laugh, "now what about this book."

"Well," she said pulling out her copy of what he had sent her so far, "I think it is great, probably your best work since Ravens, and we want to get it to publishing as soon as we can."

"You think it's that good," he asked.

"Yes," she said, "Luke the writing in this is so true, so emotional, I really think it's going to be a best seller. I mean, the story of these two people, the love, all of it. It's great. I wonder where that kind of inspiration comes from."

"You sound like you've been talking to Haley and Nate," he said.

"Well, let me just say this," she said, "I think in the past I was wrong."

"Lindsey Strauss was wrong," he asked mockingly.

"I was."

"And what exactly what were you wrong about?"

"The Comet."

"The Comet," he said thinking about that book, what it had done to his life, to his heart. It was a time in his life that wasn't his shining moment.

"Do you have a title for the book yet," she asked pulling him from his thoughts.

"I'm working on it," he said. Honestly he hadn't even contemplated titles. He had three best sellers under his belt, but he couldn't pull his mind from the one story that didn't sell, The Comet.

"And what about promoting this one? How is that going to work with the baby," she asked, "and Brooke?"

"I don't want to do as much as we did with Ravens, Lindsey, I mean being away from Keithan for that long just won't work for me. I want to be there for everything, I don't want to miss anything."

"What about Brooke," she asked, he looked confused, "I mean is she staying in Tree Hill or L.A.? We could try to focus on L.A. if we need to."

"They are in Tree Hill," he said, "that's where they're staying."

"So we definitely don't want as much promo time as we had with Ravens," she laughed, "but way more than we had with The Comet?"

"Yeah," he smiled at her, thinking about his one signing he had done in Omaha, "I hope this will be a lot better than The Comet and the one signing I did in Omaha."

"You know I always liked you with her," Lindsey said, "I know that sounds bad, but when I read the book I thought it was all Peyton. Now, I see you like this, happy, smiling, and I think I was wrong before. And I think The Comet is actually a really beautiful love letter to a girl, just not the girl I thought it was for."

"It's a boy and the stars," he said, "that's all."

"If that's what you're telling yourself," she said.

"What comes next?"

"Well, you are going back home to finish the book, I will work on publishing and promotions," she said, "and you will be a great dad to that little boy, and I'm pretty sure you're going to talk to her."

"Her being?"

"Brooke," she said, "Lucas you need to tell her what's in your heart."

"Linds, I appreciate you trying to help, but there's nothing to say…"

"Ok, fine, Luke, don't tell her, but someday, she'll read it." Lindsey looked at him, she could see it in his eyes, hear it in his words, read it in his writing, "Lucas we both know where the inspiration comes from, it's there, right in front of you, talk to her."

* * *

"Come on buddy," Brooke said to her crying son as she pulled her car into the Naley driveway. Keithan had been fussy all afternoon, she was sure he was teething. She got out and started gathering their things when Nathan's SUV pulled in.

"You need some help," Nathan asked as he walked towards the young mother.

"Hey," she said as she handed him the diaper bag and her purse, "thanks."

"How's he doing," Nathan asked as she pulled Keithan's car seat from her back seat.

"Fussy," she sighed, "teething I think," she said as they started walking towards the house.

"He's coming," Nathan said with a smile.

"Huh," she asked, pretending she didn't know who he was talking about.

"Luke," Nathan chuckled, "he had me drop him at his place so he could drop his luggage off and get his car. I told him I thought you'd be here."

"Oh," she said as they stood on the porch.

"So," he said, "are you gonna talk to him?"

"Nathan," she sighed.

"Hey, I'm just saying, Brooke, I see it, ok, and I know you. I've known you longer than I've known Haley or Luke, ok? You are a good person, maybe at times we haven't made all the right choices, done the right things," he said, she cringed as the pre-prom party popped in to her head, "but Brooke, you deserve to be happy and if it's with my brother, well that's a bonus for me. I mean, I know Luke loves you, he always has, and I'm pretty sure that you love him," he said waiting for a response.

"It doesn't matter Nathan, what I've done," she said shaking her head, "keeping Keithan away, I mean that's a lot. And I can not expect people to just say it's ok, because it's not. I know that."

"Do you think my marriage is perfect? Do you think I haven't screwed up, that Haley hasn't screwed up? Chris Keller ring any bells," he sighed, "psycho nanny Carrie, Renee, damn, if I let my mistakes dictate my happiness Brooke, I'd be as miserable as Dan. But, I'm not. Yeah, it's hard, and it takes a lot more than I ever thought I was capable of, but it's worth it. I love my wife, and all the bad is outweighed by the good in our life. We have everything we've ever wanted, and you deserve that too."

"Wow," she said.

"What?"

"When did you become this guy," she asked with a smile, "you are a great friend, Nathan Scott."

"Thanks, you're not so bad either," he said as they walked inside.

"Tigger," Haley called from the kitchen, "you're just in time."

"Aunt Brooke," Jamie said as he ran to her, "mom is making mac and cheese."

"She is buddy," Brooke said as she was sitting her things down, Nathan had already taken Keithan from his car seat, "I bet it's delicious."

"My mom makes the best," he said as he ran back to the kitchen. Haley was at the stove, Nathan was holding Keithan standing next to Grace's highchair, Jamie was sitting at the island talking basketball with Nathan. This was how things were supposed to be, at least that's what Brooke believed.

"Hey," he said as he walked up beside her.

"Hey," she said nervously.

"He stole Keithan already," Lucas asked with a slight laugh, no one had even noticed the duo watching them.

"Yes, he did," she said.

"It's amazing, huh," he asked watching his little brother, seeing their family, his son being a part of it, "they have what we all dream of."

"Yeah, I guess so," she sighed. "How did your trip go?"

"Good," he said, both talking quietly, "really good actually. Lindsey really likes the book and she's ready to get it to publishing, start promoting. It's crazy."

"Congratulations, Luke, that's great."

"Thanks," he said, "it's good to be writing again. I've missed it."

"When do you start the book tour?"

"Well, we're not in production yet," he said, "but once the book is published we'll start the promoting. But, I did tell Lindsey that I don't want to be away too much," he said nervously, "I don't want to be away from you guys, Brooke."

"Well," she said, unsure of what to say.

"Hey," he said quietly, "I wanted to talk to you, maybe later, about things. About Keithan, about us."

"Ok," she said in almost a whisper, her heart racing, sometimes she hated that he could still do that to her. She wondered if he knew that he had that effect or if she hid it as well as she thought she did.

"About what comes next for us," he said, "not just with Keithan either. I know it's been hard, but, I really want…"

"Uncle Luke," Jamie said as he noticed his uncle standing with Brooke.

"J Luke," Lucas said with a smile as he walked in to the kitchen, glancing back at Brooke, "how's my favorite nephew doing?"

"Dude, I'm your only nephew."

"Doesn't mean you're not my favorite," Lucas said as he ran is hands thru Jamie's blonde hair, he grabbed his son from Nathan. Brooke still standing in the doorway, was smiling.

"What are you smiling about," Haley asked as she joined her best friend.

"What comes next."


	16. Me too

**Author's note: I own nothing. Please read and review…hope you enjoy. I really appreciate all of the reviews, it makes writing so much easier. I am feeling a little stuck on this story…not sure if I should jump ahead or just continue where I am…agh. Forever-alwaysB-Davis, I am glad you enjoyed the Brooke/Nathan scenes of my story…that is a friendship I too think should be explored more on screen, but oh well. I really think the similarities between Brucas and Naley are there, Nathan and Brooke seem to have a lot of similar backgrounds and they both changed for the better when Haley and Lucas came into their lives…just my opinion. I really appreciate all of the faithful reviewers: ****dianehermans****, ****arubagirl0926****, ****alysef****, ****Princesakarlita411****, NaeNae1495, ****BrucasBangelBrylan****, ****OTH-Brucas-love**** and any one that I may have forgotten….your reviews really are what helps, so thank you!**

****

**

* * *

**

"He is nine months old," Brooke said as she was putting Keithan in the high chair in Haley's kitchen, "he's growing up too fast."

"Honey, my son is seven years old, tell me about it."

"Damn, Haley, we are getting old."

"We are not old Brooke," Haley smiled, "twenty five is far from old."

"I guess," she sighed.

"What's with the sulking, I thought that was Luke's thing," Haley chuckled, "you're the cheery one and he's the broody one."

"Funny," she said sarcastically, "it's just this is Keithan's first Christmas, and I want it all to be perfect, and I just want to hold on to the moment. It's like right now everything is just so…"

"Perfect?"

"Yeah," she smiled, "I know it sounds corny, but things are so amazing right now. I mean Luke and I are good."

"Yeah, well I do not need details on how good Luke is."

"Perv," Brooke said slightly blushing, "but I'm serious Hales. Things are good, and I am just worried, I just don't want to screw it up."

"Brooke," Haley said, "you won't, I know you. I know how much you love the two of them, ok? You and Luke will be fine, wasn't it you who said people who are meant to be always find their way in the end?"

"Yeah, before I became bitter over my best friend and boyfriend screwing around behind my back," she sighed, she threw her hands in the air, "see, screwing things up."

"How is your new line coming," Haley asked.

"Good, really good. I think that this is what I need, starting over and building something of my own again. It's funny, Clothes Over Bro's was so much about my broken heart, and I guess it was time to let it go."

"You really are something, you know that? I mean it, you have grown so much Brooke."

"Thank you, but I wouldn't be where I am without you, Haley James Scott," Brooke smiled, "you were there for me then, and you're here now, so thank you."

"You're welcome Brooke," Haley smiled.

* * *

"Your kids are spoiled," Lucas laughed as he helped Nathan load the shopping bags in the back of his car.

"Oh, just my kids," Nathan said, "I do recall you spending almost as much as me, and you're buying for one, a nine month old at that."

"Yeah, yeah," Lucas said with a smile as they got in the car.

"Talk about spoiled," Nathan said with a laugh, "speaking of spoiled, did you get Brooke's present yet?"

"Yeah," he smiled, "I've got something lined up."

"And," Nathan said waiting for a response, "what is it?"

"Nope, I am not saying anything, I am telling no one."

"Fine," he said defeated, "we better get back or Haley is going to kill us. She has a lot she wants to do before tomorrow."

"Brooke is there, and isn't your mom coming in too," Lucas asked.

"Don't get me started on her," Nathan said, "my mother is bringing some guy with her this year, I have no clue who he is, just that she told Haley he is younger."

"Plus side, you know it's not Skills," Lucas laughed, Nathan shot him a glare, "I'm just saying you know, only in Tree Hill," Lucas laughed.

"So not even a hint about Brooke's present," Nathan asked with a laugh, Lucas shook his head. This was one thing he was certain he was going to keep secret. He wanted this to be perfect, it was their son's first Christmas, and Lucas felt like it was their first Christmas. Of course they had spent many holidays together over the years, but this year just felt different. This was their start.

* * *

"I think it is time to head home," Brooke sighed as she looked at her son lying asleep on Nathan's chest.

"You could stay here," Haley said with a smile, "help me some more."

"As intriguing as that sounds," Brooke smiled, "I think I am gonna take my boy home."

"Well, maybe you can take both of them," Haley asked as she glanced at Lucas who was on the other end of the couch sleeping.

"Funny," Brooke chuckled, she reached to take Keithan from Nathan's arms.

"What time is it," Nathan asked groggily as he sat up wiping his eyes.

"After two," Haley said as she wrapped her arms around him, "hey you," she said as she nudged Lucas with her foot.

"Hey," he said as he looked around.

"It's after two," Haley smiled as he sat up.

"Damn," he sighed.

"We are going to head home," Brooke said as she grabbed Keithan's bag.

"We'll see you tomorrow," Nathan said as he and Haley stood up, following Brooke towards the door.

"Do you think you can give me a ride," Lucas asked as he followed.

"I do not need the mental image," Nathan said with a laugh, Haley playfully slapped his arm, Brooke and Lucas both shook their heads.

"Yeah, that's fine," Brooke smiled as he took the bag from her.

"Bye guys," Haley said as she and Nathan stood in their doorway watching them make their way to Brooke's car.

"So," Nathan said with a smile, "any ideas on this mystery gift he's got?"

"What mystery?"

"Whatever he's giving Brooke," he said, "he won't tell what it is."

"No clue," Haley said as she yawned, "she hasn't said anything either."

"Well, whatever it is it must be pretty important to him," Nathan said.

* * *

"She is a holiday Nazi," Brooke said as she got into the car. Lucas was sitting in the passenger seat looking at her. Even after the long day and night he still thought she was beautiful.

"Yes," he smiled, "but what would the holidays be without Haley James Scott?"

"True," Brooke smiled as they pulled out of the Naley driveway. "I can't believe tomorrow is Christmas Eve already."

"Keithan's first," Lucas smiled looking towards their sleeping son in the backseat. "If you don't want to drive all the way back to my place I can crash on your couch tonight."

"It's not that far," she said, she looked over at the brooding blonde, "but if you want to stay that's fine Luke."

"Ok," he smiled, "I would like to stay."

"Ok," she smiled back. They weren't in a relationship, she wasn't ready to label whatever it was, and truthfully Lucas wasn't either. The past two months had been good for them. Brooke couldn't help but smile when she thought about it…

"_So you knew huh," Lucas asked as he and Brooke were putting Keithan in her car._

"_Knew what," she asked as she watched Lucas put Keithan in the car seat._

"_About Nathan," Lucas said, she nodded, "I figured. I can't believe he's giving it up, I mean basketball is his life, it's his dream."_

"_Dreams change," she said softly thinking about her dreams._

"_You amaze me," he smiled at her, she smiled slightly, nervously, "brilliant, and beautiful and brave." Sometimes she loved this, the way he could make her feel, sometimes she hated it, "you ok?"_

"_Yeah, I am," she said as she shut the door on her car, she opened the driver door as he stood there looking at her._

"_So," he said nervously, "about earlier, about us," he said looking at her, neither noticing Haley and Nathan standing in their living room looking out at them, "Brooke, I…"_

"_Luke, I am here because this is where I want to be," she said partly surprising herself, he smiled watching her, "this is home, and not just because it's where I am from, but it's home, it's where I want to be, here, Tree Hill," she said softly, "and most of all with you and Keithan. Lucas, I know what I did was horrible, but, you have to know that it wasn't because of you, it was me and where I was…"_

"_Hey," he said cutting her off, he smiled at her as she shook her head, "Brooke, this is what I want, that's what I wanted to tell you," he laughed as he placed his hand on her cheek, "you and me and our son, this is what I want, and I know things aren't perfect and we've both screwed up, but I want this. I'm not sure what comes next for me but I know without a doubt that whatever it is," he said as he pulled her closer to him, "that I want you Brooke Davis, to be with me."_

"_Ok," she smiled as she looked up in to his blue eyes, he rested his forehead against hers as tears streamed her cheeks, happy tears, and she wiped her cheek as he kissed her forehead._

"Ok," he said with a smile. This was not exactly how he thought things would progress, but it was enough. Being there, in whatever capacity she was ready for, that was enough. Over the last two months they had grown so much closer, but things hadn't been labeled and they weren't intimate. Of course there was kissing, sometimes more than others, but one of them always stopped before things progressed. Lucas didn't want to be that guy for her, he wanted more, and he would wait until she was ready. He wasn't going to sleep with her to have her just push him away again, of course there were times where he questioned that thought process. But, the other times he knew, he knew her heart and he knew that he wanted them to be together when it wasn't just a onetime thing, he wanted her, all of her.

"We're gonna have to move you in as much as you stay over," she said with a laugh. Although, in her heart she didn't think that idea was so bad. She loved having him there, the mornings with him and Keithan, the evenings of putting their son to bed together. She loved it, and the truth was that she couldn't imagine life without him, but then again she never really could. Lucas Scott was the one boy that saw her, sometimes she wondered how she got so lucky. She had talked about it with Nathan over the years, how they both won in the deal. Lucas and Haley had changed them for the better and where they were now was because of that.

"I'll just move into Keithan's room," he laughed as they pulled in her driveway, "we can get bunk beds."

"I'm not sure how your dates would feel about that," she said with a slight laugh as they got out of the car. She regretted it the moment she said it, because truthfully she didn't want to think about him with anyone else. Even if they weren't officially together she knew that she loved him.

"I'll be sure to ask," he said as he got Keithan from his car seat, Brooke grabbed the diaper bag and they made their way to the house. She made her way to her room while Lucas put Keithan to bed in his crib. She threw her hair up in a messy ponytail and put on some shorts and a tank top. She made her way back to the living room to make sure Lucas had what he needed.

"He's out," she asked as she walked into the living room.

"Yeah," Lucas said as he sat on the couch, he yawned, "he's out."

"Ok," she said quietly, "well I am gonna get to bed too."

"Ok," he said as he sat back on the couch.

"The couch isn't comfortable," she asked standing there watching him.

"It's fine," he said.

"Luke, come on," she said, he looked at her confused, "I'm serious, we're both adults and we both know that the couch isn't that comfortable."

"It's fine," he smiled, "unless you want me to sleep in your bed?"

"Lucas," she said, "I'm just saying, it's much more comfortable than this couch, so if you want to sleep in the bed it's fine, it's big enough for the both of us."

"Well," he said standing up, "if you insist," she shook her head, "I mean I couldn't be rude."

"Never," she said as they both made their way towards her bedroom.

"This is nice," he said as he laid down on the bed.

"I didn't know they made beds this comfortable," she said as she climber in her side of the bed. They both laid their silently, neither knowing what to say. "Luke," she said softly as she rolled towards him.

"Yeah," he said turning his head towards her.

"I love you, you know that right," she asked nervously.

"I love you too," he said as she scooted towards him, laying her head against his chest, he wrapped his arms around her.

"I want this Luke," she said as she leaned over him slightly, "I want this, us, together," she said as she reached down to kiss him. The feeling of his lips on hers caused her to moan slightly. She loved how this felt, the passion and warmth. This was what she wanted and she was ready for this, for him to be in her life, their life.

"Brooke," he whispered in between kisses. He wanted this, the truth was he had wanted this for so long. She was straddling him now, leaning down kissing him as his hands rested on her hips. She was sure this was what she wanted, what she needed. She started kissing his neck as his hands worked up under her shirt, pulling it off, she smiled as he forced her on her back. His hands found their way to her breasts as his mouth was on hers. He hadn't realized how much he wanted her, but he could feel it now.

"Luke," she whispered as he started kissing down her neck, she laid there with her eyes closed as he started kissing her breasts, he reached his hands to her shorts pulling them off along with her panties. She ran her hands along his bare chest as he looked into her eyes.

"I love you," he said, thinking how beautiful she looked.

"I love you," she said as he started kissing her, "Luke, I want you." This was what they both needed, what they wanted. She wanted him, she needed him, she wanted to feel him inside her, she needed to. She watched him as he took his boxers off, seeing how much he wanted her too made her smile, she had missed this, the feeling of him. He braced his self above her as he slid inside of her, never taking his eyes off her. She gazed into his eyes as she felt him slowly going deeper, "don't stop," she whispered. She needed this more than she realized as she felt him pushing in and out of her, she couldn't help but call his name.

"Oh god, Brooke," he whispered as he felt her walls tighten around him, he felt his own release coming on. She wrapped her arms around him pulling him as close as she could as she closed her eyes, her body belonged to him in that moment. She felt him tense up and knew he was there too. "I love you Brooke, so much," he said laying beside her, she cuddled up to him tightly as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I love you Lucas Scott," she said with a smile, "I need you in my life, I want this," she said softly.

"Me too," he said with a smile, "so does this mean I don't have to bunk with Keithan," he asked jokingly.

"So not funny," she said with a smile, she sighed, "I think we might be able to work something else out."

"I like that idea," he said running his hands through her brunette hair.

"Me too," she smiled.

* * *

**So not sure how this was…my first attempt at the love scene type thing, lol. Read and review…ideas and suggestions are welcomed. I apologize for the long break in updating my stories…**

**Thanks to all of you who review, it really is inspiring. Thanks to dianehermans…I will try to update more regularly.**


	17. Thank you

**AUTHORS NOTE: I own nothing. It has been a while but with the holiday season thought maybe a few new chapters to this one. Hope you enjoy...read and review. Thanks!**

Brooke rolled over expecting him to be there, but when she felt the emptiness she sighed, she didn't even want to open her eyes. She had done it again. She had allowed herself to be with him, to be vulnerable, to love him, and here she was alone the morning after. It was however Christmas Eve. And, this was her sons first Christmas, so no matter what had happened, she was going to make this the best holiday ever. She heard Keithan in his crib and couldn't help but smile.

"Hey handsome," she smiled as she made her way in to the nursery, "how's my boy huh," she kissed his cheek as she picked him up. She made her way to the kitchen where she placed Keithan in his high chair. She reached for a mug to make a cup of coffee and that's when she saw the note.

Brooke,

I had some things to finish up today. I had Mouth take me home. I will see you two tonight at Nathan and Haley's. Kiss him for me. I love you, both of you.

Luke

"Looks like it's just us this morning buddy," she smiled. The truth was she was kind of glad he wasn't there. The awkward moment when he wanted to talk, she wasn't ready for it. As much as she loved Lucas, as much as she wanted him in her life it was still hard to let him all the way back in. Sometimes, she was afraid that it was a feeling that would never go away.

"Da," Keithan said pulling Brooke from her thoughts.

"Dad is busy today buddy," she said as she ruffled his brown curls, "but we will see him later at Nathan's. Can you say Nathan, huh, Uncle Nathan?" She smiled as Keithan looked at her with his big blue eyes. It was always funny how much Jamie resembled Lucas, and now looking at her son she realized how much he resembled her childhood friend.

* * *

Haley couldn't help but smile as she opened the door for her brunette best friend and her nephew. It was amazing to watch Brooke, she really had grown so much. Seeing her as a mother was something. Anyone could see just how much she loved Keithan and Haley was thankful to be a part of their lives, "you ok?"

"Yeah," Brooke sighed trying to juggle the gift bags and diaper bag while holding Keithan and her purse, "I have some more stuff in the car. I will have to go back in a minute," she said following the young mother inside.

"Jamie Scott," Haley called.

"Yeah ma," Jamie asked as he appeared from the kitchen.

"Your Aunt Brooke has some stuff in her car," Haley said, "do you think you could grab it for her buddy?"

"Yeah," he smiled up at his godmother, "I guess."

"See, that's why you are my favorite Scott," she smiled back at him, "you and Keithan."

"Yeah, yeah," the seven and a half year old smiled as he ran towards the car.

"He's going to be a heartbreaker," Brooke smiled as she handed Haley her son.

"Yeah," Haley said, "and this little one too," she smiled as she kissed his cheeks, "right Keithan. Jamie had a crush on Miss Lauren you know."

"No," Brooke smiled, "I didn't know."

"Yeah," Haley said as Jamie came back inside holding the gift bags, "just put them by the tree Jame."

"Ok," he said as he made his way back to the living room.

"He's a good kid," Brooke said as she and Haley made their way towards the kitchen.

"I think so," she smiled proudly, "he reminds me so much of Lucas and Nathan, he got pretty lucky with that Scott charm."

"Speaking of," Brooke said, "where is Nate?"

"Nathan is picking Deb up at the airport with Grace," she smiled, "it seems her male friend cancelled last minute."

"Oh," Brooke grinned, "that's too bad, I was looking forward to the cougar and the cub."

"You do realize how messed up Nathan was," she asked, Brooke smiled, "I mean first Skillz, and now some other young guy."

"Well, when I am her age," Brooke said with a laugh.

"Where is Luke by the way," Haley asked as she put Keithan in a high chair.

"I," Brooke hesitated, "really don't know. He left a note saying he had some things to do and that he'd be here tonight."

"Hmm," Haley sighed, wondering what was going on in his broody mind and heart. She couldn't help but smile as she watched Brooke with Keithan, she was so at ease with him, so comfortable, and it was amazing to witness. "So, what are you two doing for Christmas?"

"What do you mean," Brooke looked at Haley confused, "we're here tonight and tomorrow morning Luke is going to be at our house so Keithan opens everything at home."

"Oh," Haley said, "I didn't know if he was staying with you guys tonight or not?"

"I'm not sure," Brooke sighed.

"What's going on," Haley asked noticing the frustration on her friends face.

"Well," she sighed, "I am not sure."

"Ok," Haley said confused, "you know you can talk to me tigger, anything at all, you can talk to me."

"I know," she smiled softly, "I just don't know what is wrong you know? It's like we are in this good spot and things seem great and this morning I wake up and he's gone and I haven't even talked to him today."

"He stayed last night?"

"Yes Haley," Brooke said, "Lucas stayed over, and I think I screwed up," she sighed avoiding the gaze of her best friend.

"And, by screwing up you mean," Haley said waiting for a response, Brooke didn't say anything and Haley was sure she knew. "You two need to talk," she said, "I know that Luke loves you and he loves Keithan, and sex doesn't change that, Brooke. Him being busy today is probably just that, I mean it is Christmas Eve."

"I know," Brooke said, "I just don't want what happened last night to effect Christmas for Keithan, and I woke up to Luke gone and a note. I don't want that, Haley, I want more."

"Have you told him that?"

"No, I guess not. I mean, we don't talk about it, we don't date we don't meet people, we're together a lot, and I just thought," she sighed.

"Ok, I am not Lucas, but I think maybe he's just as afraid as you are Brooke," she said. "The two of you have been through so much, and you both push and pull, and now you share a son, and that makes it more real."

"Yeah," she said.

"Well, if I were you I wouldn't read much in to him being busy," Haley smiled, "Luke loves you, Brooke, and I know you love him, you two are going to be ok," she said as she wrapped an arm around her best friend.

"Thank you," Brooke said as she wiped her eyes.

* * *

Nathan stood in the doorway of his living room watching as his wife and mother talked, while Karen held her grandson, Jamie and Lily running around. This was what he'd imagined. Nathan had never had these family holidays as a child and more than anything he'd wanted that for his children, and here he was.

"You ok," Lucas asked as he stood beside his brother.

"Yeah," Nathan smiled, "you?"

"Good," Lucas smiled, "I never had these big Christmas' when I was a kid," he said, "it was just Mom and Keith and me, and then I met Haley, and now here we are, a real family Christmas."

"Feels pretty good," Nathan said looking towards Karen who was holding his nine month old nephew, "seeing that smile on his face."

"It does," he said.

"Man, we have come pretty far," Nathan said looking at around at their friends and family.

"Yeah," Lucas sighed as he scanned the room once more for the missing brunette.

"She's in the kitchen," Nathan said with a grin, Lucas looked confused, "Brooke is in the kitchen," he patted his brother on the back, "go talk to her."

"Hey pretty girl," he said softly as he walked into the kitchen, she was cleaning off plates in the sink, "you know this can wait everyone is in the living room."

"It's fine," she smiled slightly, "I want to help Haley out."

"Brooke," he said, "you ok?"

"I'm fine Lucas," she said.

"Hey," he said as he stood beside her.

"They did a great job, Haley and Nathan," she said.

"Brooke," he said again as she turned towards him, he could see the sadness in her eyes, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing, Lucas, I'm fine, ok," she said, "let's just enjoy this evening, ok?"

"Ok," he said as she smiled, she walked towards the living room and he followed. She still amazed him, her grace with their son, her smile lit up the room, her laughter was like music to his heart.

"Is he being good," Brooke asked as she sat beside Karen on the couch.

"He's a perfect angel," Karen smiled, "how's his mom?"

"Good," Brooke said, "this is amazing, what Haley and Nathan did, all of us being here, it's something special."

"Special indeed," Karen smiled at the girl she had considered a daughter. "You two will remember this forever," she smiled, "Keithan however won't, but it doesn't make it any less special. I remember Lucas' first Christmas, it was just the two of us and Keith."

"I am glad Keithan has all of you," she smiled.

"You both do. I am so proud of you Brooke Davis," Karen said, "the woman you have become, the mother you are, you truly are amazing."

"Thank you," Brooke smiled as she wiped the tears that had formed in her eyes.

* * *

Lucas stood in her living room looking at the presents she had just finished wrapping. "He's out," he smiled as she gathered the extra paper and bows, "you don't think we went over board?"

"Nope not at all," she smiled up at him, "I think this is his first Christmas and we did perfect."

"Yeah me too," he said as he sat on the couch behind her. She was sitting on the floor next to the tree and he couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was in that moment. "You sure you're ok, you've been kind of quiet all day."

"All day," she asked, "you were gone this morning," she said.

"Brooke," he said realizing the issue, "I had stuff to get done today, I left you a note."

"Oh I got it."

"Hey," he said softly as she stood up, "I'm sorry, I mean, I didn't mean to upset you, I just didn't want to wake you, and I know you had a lot to do too."

"Lucas, it's fine, really," she smiled.

"It's not," he said as he stood up, "and I am sorry."

"Ok," she smiled.

"Hey," he said as he looked at his watch, "I've got something for you."

"I thought we weren't doing that," she said with a huff.

"I told you not to get me anything," he smiled as he reached under the tree and grabbed the wrapped package, "because you've already given me everything, but I wanted to give you this."

"Lucas," she said as she took the package.

"And since it is six minutes after midnight, it is officially Christmas, so open it."

"You shouldn't have done this," she said as she started to open the package.

"I wanted to."

"Luke," she smiled as she looked at the book, "The Winter of Our Discontent."

"Steinbeck," he said softly.

"Thank you," she said with a genuine smile.

"You're welcome," he said as he wiped the tears from her cheek, "I do love you, Brooke Davis, and I'm not going to tell you how I'm the guy for you."

"I have heard that a time or two," she chuckled as she looked in to his blue eyes.

"Yeah," he said as he brushed her hair from her face, "and I let you down, and I'm sorry for that," he said as she nodded, "but I am the guy for you," he smiled, "but more importantly, Brooke Penelope Davis, you are the girl for me."

"I'm," she hesitated as she wiped her eyes, "Lucas I'm afraid of this," she said, "of getting hurt, of being vulnerable, because I have Keithan now, and I can't go through that again, Luke, you broke my heart," she said, "and then this morning, you were gone, and I am just so afraid."

"I know," he said as he kissed her forehead, "I know that I have hurt you, I know that I have screwed up, but I also know that I love you. I love everything about you Brooke, and I know that I don't deserve it, but I hope that you will give me the chance to prove it. I hope that you will let me prove that to you and to Keithan."

"Ok," she whispered as she wrapped her arms around him, "ok."

"Ok," he said as he kissed the top of her head, "well, I am going to crash on the couch, and I will see you in the morning," he said.

"Lucas," she said with a smile, "thank you."

"You're welcome pretty girl."


	18. Feel This

**Author's note: I own nothing. This week is bittersweet as the ninth and final season starts. Oh, how my heart is breaking knowing the end is near. I am so grateful for the visits I have had to Wilmington, to meet Mark, to see the sets and filming locations...oh how bittersweet this season will be. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please review. Thanks!**

* * *

Brooke sat on her bed reading about Ethan Hawley, smiling. It wasn't just the book, but the fact that Lucas had given it to her. That he had been able to remind her, with that one small gesture, of how they had first become them. And here they were years later, parents, and she wasn't sure what their future held, but she knew they would find a way to be ok. She glanced at the clock on her nightstand as her cell phone rang, it was nearly one in the morning.

"Hello," she said softly as she closed the book.

"Hi," he said, "I know it's late there, I just," he sighed, "I just wanted to call."

"Julian," she said softly, not feeling angered, but hurt for him, she could hear how lost he sounded, "it's ok, I was just reading."

"I just got home, and I was thinking about you and Keithan," he chuckled, "and I just wondered how everything was going, his first Christmas," he said.

"It's good," she smiled, "I wrapped everything, but he's not even going to understand the whole thing."

"You will, Brooke, you'll always remember this," he said softly, "I wish, sometimes I just…"

"I know," she said knowing what he wanted to say. He'd loved Keithan, while she was pregnant he was there, he was the one holding her hand when her son was born, he was there to comfort the boy when he was weeks old.

"I miss you guys," he said.

"I know, Julian, I miss you too," she said as tears formed in her hazel eyes, "you and me, we just…"

"I know," he said with a slight chuckle, "I guess we never stood a chance."

"Luke and I, we're not together Julian, I mean, we are here, but," she said, not sure what they were. Of course she loved him, but there was Julian Baker, the boy who had broken through the walls she put up, the walls she built because the hurt Lucas Scott had caused her.

"You two share a child, Brooke," he said, "and unlike our own parents, you are an amazing mother, and you put that little boy first. And, Lucas loves you."

"Julian," she sighed. Julian Baked had been heartbroken twice because of Lucas Scott. First he had fallen for Peyton Sawyer, and then Brooke Davis. She knew that Julian had loved her, and if she was honest, he probably still did, because deep in her heart she still loved him. He had shown her that it was ok to take risks, that sometimes they paid off and sometimes they didn't. The ugly side of Julian she had seen her last few months in L.A wasn't him, it was the defensive version of him, the one who didn't want to be hurt. And, if Brooke Davis knew anything, she knew what it was like to be that person, the one who knows it's bound to end and that hurt was all that was waiting.

"I shouldn't have called," he said.

"I'm glad you did," she said, "I've missed you."

"Don't do that Brooke," he said sternly, "don't tell me you miss me, because, we both know what it feels like to be a footnote in someone else's love story."

"That's not fair."

"But, it's true," he said, there was an awkward silence, both knowing he was right, "I'm sorry."

"Me too," she said as she wiped her eyes.

"Well, I should go, Brooke Davis," he said.

"Goodnight Julian Baker," she said with a soft smile as she hung up. She wiped her eyes, hearing Julian's voice was unexpected, but surprisingly she felt good about it. She and Julian had loved each other, they had been happy and shared a life, and in a moment of sadness she and Lucas had found comfort with each other. And now she sat here thinking about it. In her living room was a man that was the father of her son, a man that she'd imagined spending her life with when she was in high school. A man that had broken her heart, but a man that had taught her that she didn't have to be what people thought she was. Lucas Scott was the first boy she had really loved.

But, there was Julian Baker. Julian had come in to her life at a time when she was lost and afraid. A time when she needed him even though she didn't know it. Julian had showed her that she didn't have to be a footnote in Lucas and Peyton's love story, he showed her she could write her own. But, in the end she had broken his heart, just like Peyton had. She had promised him a life together, a family, a home, and then she slept with Lucas. She had promised him that it didn't matter, that she wanted him. That the two of them could raise the baby and have the life. But as her pregnancy progressed he pushed, he pushed her further and further away because he knew. Julian Baker knew that Lucas Scott was the guy for Brooke Davis and as much as he loved her, as much as he wanted her, he knew. So he became everything he'd hated in his own father.

Brooke wiped her eyes. She stood up and walked towards her son's room. She stood there for a few minutes watching him sleep. She placed a soft kiss on his forehead, "I love you baby boy," she said before walking towards the living room.

"Hey," Lucas said as he looked up from where he was laying on the couch, "you ok?"

"Yeah," she nodded as she wiped her eyes, she sat on the coffee table in front of the couch.

"Brooke," Lucas said softly as he sat up, "come here," he said as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Luke," she said softly as she laid her head against his chest, her tears staining his shirt.

"It's ok pretty girl, I'm here," he said as he kissed the top of her head, "it's ok."

"Luke, I want this to be ok, I want us to be ok," she said as he held her close to him, "I need that. And Keithan needs that. And I have to know that I am doing what is right for him," she paused, "and for me."

"Brooke, what's going on," he asked softly, confusion filled his voice.

"Julian called me," she said and she could feel Lucas tense as his arms were still around her, "and I just started thinking about everything, you know. And I just, I don't know."

"Julian," he said.

"Luke, don't be mad, ok," she said pleadingly.

"I'm not mad, Brooke," he said as his grip on her loosened.

"You are," she said as she sat up and looked into his eyes.

"I'm here," he said as his own eyes filled with tears, "Brooke, I am here, I am doing the best I can, and I don't know if that's enough for you. And, Julian," he says with a heavy sigh, "I'm not him. I'm me, the guy who broke your heart, I'm the jerk who hurt you more times than I can count, I'm," he sighed as he stood up.

"I'm sorry," she said, suddenly guilt ridden for having told him about the call.

"I don't know what this is, Brooke, I don't know what we are, what you want, I can't do this," he said, pain filling his voice as he looked at her, "I am here, and I want to be, but do you want me here? Brooke, is this what you want, or do you want," he paused as they heard Keithan in his crib, "I'll get him," he said leaving her alone in her living room.

"Luke," she said as he walked away. She leaned against the arm of her couch and pulled the blanket up over herself. She wiped her eyes as she could hear Lucas comforting their son. Their son, Keithan was a part of her and Lucas, and she loved them, both of them, but Julian was still in her heart too.

* * *

"Ma," the baby boy babbled as Lucas held his hands, letting him stand at the edge of the couch, "ma."

"Yeah, buddy, that's your mamma," Lucas said as Brooke opened her eyes, "tell mamma you want your presents," he smiled.

"Hey," she said softly as she sat up, pulling her hair into a messy ponytail.

"He's been up for a little while," Lucas said as he picked Keithan up, "there's coffee in the kitchen."

"Luke," she said pleadingly.

"Brooke," he said, "it's his first Christmas morning, let's not do this, ok," he said as he kissed the top of Keithan's head.

"Ok," she said with a forced smile as she stood up, "you excited buddy," she said as she kissed Keithan's tummy, "you and daddy both?" Brooke got a cup of coffee and made her way back to the living room where Lucas was sitting beside the tree with Keithan on his lap. It was magical, watching the two of them interact, Keithan's excitement, Lucas' too. Brooke was happy that Lucas was there, that he was sharing this moment with their son. She wanted that for Keithan, it was something she had never had, and was thankful her son would.

"He's asleep," Lucas said as he walked into the kitchen where Brooke was cleaning up. It had been a busy morning with Keithan, and they had both enjoyed seeing him, even though they could both feel the tension.

"He's had a busy morning," she smiled.

"Yeah," Lucas said, "I'm going to head home, Mom and Andy are taking Lily back to Charlotte in the morning and I want to spend some time with them."

"Oh," she said surprised, "I thought we'd all go over after Keithan got up."

"That's fine, if you want to come over," he said, "but I am going now, Brooke, I think that's best."

"Lucas," she pleaded, he didn't say anything, "I'm here."

"I see that."

"Luke, please," she said, he sat on the barstool and looked across at her, "I am here, and this is where I want to be. I know that you're mad," she said.

"I am not mad Brooke," he sighed, "I just don't understand, ok, I mean you are in tears over Julian."

"It's not about him though," she said, "Lucas, it's not. It's about us, me and you. Talking to Julian, Lucas, I know what it's like to be him, to be so in love with someone that you push them away, you do everything possible to make them not want you. I did that, ok, I know that," she said.

"Do you love him, Brooke," he asked with sadness in his eyes.

"Yeah," she nearly whispered, "a part of me does love him, but Lucas, the biggest part of me," she said wiping her eyes, "loves you, and I always have. And it nearly killed me watching you almost marry Lindsey, and then when I had Angie, and then you and Peyton, Luke, you and my best friend were pregnant and getting married," she said. "Lucas, you left me."

"Brooke, you told me to go to her," he said.

"Not then Lucas, not in high school," she sighed, "when Peyton died, Lucas, you left, you walked away from me, from Nathan and Haley, all of us, and you left. And a year later you walked back in and you said things to me, Lucas, things I had wanted you to say when we were seventeen, things I needed you to say. And I was with Julian."

"And you left me, Brooke, so don't try to make me the bad person," he said as he stood up, "you were pregnant with my child, and you, you left with him!"

"I did," she said wiping her eyes, "I guess Peyton was right, people always leave."

"I guess so," he said as he walked out. Brooke stood alone in her kitchen, tears streaming her face. She did love Julian Baker, and a part of her always would, but if she was honest, she was in love with Lucas Scott and she always had been. Lucas was the guy for her, she'd known that since high school, but Julian had come along and he fit too. And now she was in an impossible situation. She knew what it was like to be Julian, and she knew what it was like to be Lucas. To be the one fighting, the one holding on to the relationship. How had things gone from perfect two days ago to this? She chuckled slightly, she was right when she told Haley she'd screw it up.

* * *

"There's my boy," Karen smiled as she reached for the boy in Brooke's arms, "come see grandma."

"He's a bit fussy," Brooke smiled as she walked in the kitchen of Lucas' home, a kitchen that used to feel like home.

"How's his mom," Karen asked as Brooke sat her things down.

"Good," Brooke smiled as Lily came running in the kitchen, "hey Lily pad," Brooke smiled as Lily wrapped her arms around the brunette.

"You should see what Santa brought me," Lily smiled, "and I got a dollhouse from Lucas."

"You must have been a very good girl," Brooke said as she knelt down, "Keithan and I got you something too," she said as she handed the blonde little girl the box.

"Wow," she said as she tore open the package, "Mamma look, it's like a real princess," Lily exclaimed as she held the pink gown Brooke had given her.

"That is beautiful," Karen said as she and Keithan looked on, "now what do you say Lily?"

"Thank you Brooke," Lily said as she wrapped her arms around Brooke's neck, "I love it, I love you."

"You are welcome, Lily pad," Brooke smiled as she kissed the top of Lily's head, "I love you too."

"I'm gonna go show daddy and Lucas," the seven year old said as she ran towards the living room.

"She is so girly," Karen smiled, "you ok, honey?"

"Yeah," Brooke smiled, "I am fine."

"And you and Lucas," Karen asked, Brooke looked a little confused, "don't give me that look young lady, he came home all broody this morning, I know something's up."

"I don't know," Brooke said softly.

"Well, the two of you need to fix whatever it is," she smiled. She placed Keithan in his high chair, "now do you want to help me finish up with dinner?"

"Are you asking me to cook," Brooke chuckled.

"Maybe just keep me company," Karen smiled.

"I can do that," Brooke said. She had missed Karen, even though they lived in Charlotte they didn't visit a lot, and Brooke missed her. Karen had been the first maternal figure Brooke had ever had, and she would always be grateful. And, now she was the mother of Karen's grandchild, and she was thankful for that tie to the woman she'd always considered a mother. Brooke watched as Karen finished cooking. The two brunettes talked about things, the new clothing line Brooke was working on, they talked about Keithan, they talked about everything except Lucas. And for that Brooke was thankful.

* * *

"Hey," Brooke said as she walked into Lucas' bedroom.

"Hey," he said as he looked up from his laptop.

"Your mom has Keithan," she said, "they are watching Lily's new princess movie in the living room," she said nervously, "Andy and I finished cleaning the kitchen up."

"Thanks," he said.

"You know she loves that dollhouse," Brooke said as she sat on the edge of his bed, "it's beautiful. It reminds me of the one I had when I was a little girl," she smiled, "the one with the red door."

"I remember it."

"Yeah," she smiled, "I loved it. And I loved it when you brought it here, when you convinced my parents to let me stay with your mom," she said, "that seems so long ago."

"It was, Brooke," he said as he closed his computer.

"I know," she said.

"I am going on the book tour," he said, "after New Years, I will be gone for three weeks."

"Oh," she said partially hurt, he hadn't talked to her about it, about what they would do, "I guess I wasn't expecting that so soon."

"Yeah, I talked to Lindsey this morning," he said, "and I told her I was ready to get going, and I thought this was the best time."

"So," she said, "Lucas, what about us?"

"What do you mean Brooke," he asked, "I'll be gone three weeks, I'll see Keithan as soon as I am back," he said bitterly, "it's not three months or anything."

"Lucas," she said as she looked at him, "that's not fair."

"Really," he said, "you get to tell me what's fair and not fair? Because last time I checked you were the one who kept my son from me, so don't tell me what's fair Brooke."

"So this is about Julian," she said trying to hold back her tears, "he called Luke, that's all."

"It doesn't matter to me, ok, you are free to do who or what you want Brooke, we're not together," he said, "so don't worry about me."

"I do," she said as tears streamed her face, "Lucas, I do worry about you, I can't help that. I love you," she said, "Lucas, I love you, and I am here with you, why can't you see that?"

"Brooke," he sighed.

"No, Lucas, don't," she said as she stood up, "you want to judge me, to point out my flaws, but look in the mirror sometime," she said as she stood to walk away, "you and Peyton left a string of broken, damaged people in your wake, including me and Julian, so don't you dare judge me."

"Brooke," he said as he stood up to follow her, he reached for her arm and turned her towards him.

"What, Lucas? What do you want me to say?"

"I'm sorry Brooke," he said as he pushed her hair from her face, "I'm sorry."

"We can't keep doing this," she said as she looked up at him, "I can't keep doing this Luke."

"I'm sorry," he said, "I'm sorry, but, when Julian called you, Brooke, you were upset."

"Yeah," she said, "I was, Lucas, because it made me realize how much I want this with you, and with our son. I love Julian, Lucas, and a part of me always will, but I am not in love with him, and if I'm honest with myself I never was."

"Brooke," he said as he wiped her cheek.

"I love you Lucas, I have loved you since we were seventeen years old, and I have been in love with you," she said, "only you. I'm afraid of this, of the way you make me feel, ok, the way you know me better than anyone, Luke, the way you see me, and I am scared to death of getting hurt again. But I am here," she said, "I am here."

"I know," he said as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Do you remember that night in New York," she asked as she rested her head against his chest, "in that carriage ride, Lucas, everything I wanted, that was real, and I want that with you. I always have."

"I'm sorry," he said as he kissed the top of her head, "I'm sorry I hurt you, pretty girl."

"I'm sorry too," she said as she noticed Karen standing on the porch watching the two of them, Keithan asleep in her arms. "We can't keep doing this, Lucas," she sighed wiping her eyes, "we have to figure out what we are going to do, because we have a son, and Keithan is all that matters."

"I know that, Brooke," he said.

"Ok," she said as she wiped her eyes.

"Brooke," he said.

"I'm going, and Keithan can stay with you, ok, just bring him home in the morning," she said softly, "I just gotta get out of here ok?"

"Brooke," he said trying to stop her, but she kept walking towards her car. As he stood there watching her drive away he felt like his heart was being ripped out. He turned back towards his house and saw his mom standing there holding his son. Karen sat on the old porch swing holding the sleeping baby as Lucas sat beside her, "what do I do?"

"Well," Karen smiled, "a pretty smart young man once told me that if you keep looking for reasons not be with someone you'll find them," she said as Lucas sighed, "and he also told me that at some point you have to let go and give your heart what it deserves," she said, "and Lucas you are at that point son."

"Ma," he sighed.

"You love her," she said, "and I know that, you know that, and Lucas, she knows that. The two of you are too damn stubborn to admit that you've both done wrong, but honey at some point you have to tell her," she said as she kissed the top of Keithan's head, "you do not want to live with the regret, or the what if's. Lucas, go," she said.

"Ok," he said as he leaned over to hug his mom, he kissed the Keithan's forehead, "thank you."

"You're welcome," Karen smiled as she handed Lucas something.

"Mom, I can't," he said.

"Yeah, you can," she smiled at him, "you have to Lucas. Now go," she smiled as she watched Lucas walk towards his Mustang.

* * *

Brooke sighed as she pulled in her driveway. She walked towards her front door full of frustration, "what are you doing here Lucas?"

"Waiting for you," he said as he looked up at her, "I've been waiting for a while."

"Well I needed to clear my head."

"The beach," he asked knowing her, knowing that was her spot. He couldn't help but smile when she nodded, "I wanted to give you something Brooke."

"Lucas," she sighed as he stood up.

"This is for you," he said as he handed her the book.

"The Girl Behind the Red Door," she said in nearly a whisper as she looked at the book, "by Lucas Scott. What is this," she asked.

"The new book," he said, "it's for you. Brooke, it is for you, it's about you," he said softly, "and the world will know just how much you mean to me, how much I love you. You've always been the girl behind the red door, Brooke, that was the first girl I ever loved, the only girl I have ever been in love with."

"Luke," she said as she wiped her eyes.

"I love you, Brooke Davis," he said as he knelt down in front of her, "I love you, I am in love with you, and I can't imagine not having you with me for the rest of my life," he reached in his pocket and pulled out a ring that Brooke recognized.

"That's your," she stuttered trying to compose herself.

"Yeah, it's the ring Keith gave my mom, Brooke," he said, "and I want you to have it, Brooke, I want you to marry me."

"Luke," she said softly as he slid the ring on her finger.

"Marry me Brooke Penelope Davis, spend the rest of your life with me, because I'm the guy for you."

"Yes," she nearly whispered as she wrapped her arms around him, "yes, yes, yes."

"I love you," he said as he stood up wrapping his arms around her.

"I love you too Luke," she said as they kissed. For the first time in a long time she felt safe, loved. "I love you so much, Lucas, and I want to marry you, I've wanted this for so long," she cried.

"Me too," he said as he wiped her eyes, "feel this," he said as he placed her hand over his heart, "this is what you do to me Brooke, still after everything we've been through, this is what you do, you make my heart race. I never want to lose that, and I never want to lose you."

"I'm not going anywhere Luke," she smiled at him, "without you and Keithan."


End file.
